Dimensions
Relationships, especially marriage, is not an easy path to take.
However, it may be a worthwhile path to travel on (in my view at least) for the journey (if not for anything else). A person is lucky to have found the right partner firsthand but Alain de Botton said in his talk that we marry the wrong person anyways so there. 'Wrong' person in the context that he/ she will NOT be what we had expected him/ her to be, because the relationship when stretched in the long term would uncover multiple flaws & imperfections of both parties.
Besides, I would think that due to the complexity of human personality and the depth of a person will only be revealed in the long run. Not immediately. Yes one would be able to read/ gauge basic characteristics of a person via snap judgement or instinct or observation, but the REAL person comes through after a long-drawn connection/ relationship. Even then what one considers real may change as new experiences are learnt or new connections are made (rightly and wrongly) or when tracks are hidden (perhaps in cases of infidelity).
So, who is the person I fell in love with? Be it Mr Ex, N or S they each have their own personalities and things that make them tick. As the relationship progress, I got to know more about them and them, about me. In hindsight, it is all good- all learning experiences & one that I take away with wisdom. There are certain doors that I have closed and never re-open or re-visit for concrete reasons. Not the typical reason that some would consider but good valid reasons to me who have lived through the respective experiences.
Love is learning, love is not the end but rather the beginning.. and human beings as complex individuals will continue to love, to be hopeful, to explore and grow from this experience.
However, it may be a worthwhile path to travel on (in my view at least) for the journey (if not for anything else). A person is lucky to have found the right partner firsthand but Alain de Botton said in his talk that we marry the wrong person anyways so there. 'Wrong' person in the context that he/ she will NOT be what we had expected him/ her to be, because the relationship when stretched in the long term would uncover multiple flaws & imperfections of both parties.
Besides, I would think that due to the complexity of human personality and the depth of a person will only be revealed in the long run. Not immediately. Yes one would be able to read/ gauge basic characteristics of a person via snap judgement or instinct or observation, but the REAL person comes through after a long-drawn connection/ relationship. Even then what one considers real may change as new experiences are learnt or new connections are made (rightly and wrongly) or when tracks are hidden (perhaps in cases of infidelity).
So, who is the person I fell in love with? Be it Mr Ex, N or S they each have their own personalities and things that make them tick. As the relationship progress, I got to know more about them and them, about me. In hindsight, it is all good- all learning experiences & one that I take away with wisdom. There are certain doors that I have closed and never re-open or re-visit for concrete reasons. Not the typical reason that some would consider but good valid reasons to me who have lived through the respective experiences.
Love is learning, love is not the end but rather the beginning.. and human beings as complex individuals will continue to love, to be hopeful, to explore and grow from this experience.
posted by elya at 8:22 am
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