Wednesday, August 12, 2020

Is it Worth it?

What is the reason behind infidelity? Is there anything wrong with the marriage, with the wife, or the person (seeking comfort outside marital relationship)?

Then legitimise it, others say. Get married & make an honest woman out of her [in cultures/ societies/ religions that permit this].

What about the one you had already married? Just bulldoze your way through her heartbreak... and one day abjectly seek forgiveness? What about your children? Do they have any feelings at all? What if the wife cannot bear any children? Does this 'biological defect' justify the husband marrying another?

Some women need support/ protection. Some men think they're doing a public duty. Are they chivalrous to have 'rescued' these damsels in distress? If the other woman did not know that the man was married, is she faultless? 

How long after marriage will a husband lose interest? Is it the wife's lone duty to keep the fire burning? Aren't there 2 parties in a marriage? If the husband strays, whose fault is it? Or is it just life? Shit happens.

When a marriage vow is made, doesn't it include a promise to support and care for the other? Or is that pure fiction? Or are women expected to be loyal while men, due to their nature, gets a 'margin of error'?

At the end of the day, having married the other: was it worth his while? What is he after: Youth? Beauty? Companionship? Romp in bed? Wisdom? Understanding? A listening ear? Does it mean that the first wife has failed in one or more of these departments? Or is he just after that something that the wife did not have/ never had?

Then why get married in the first place? Trust and love a person with all of your heart, then one fine day he exercises his 'right' to marry another? Because he can.

What if this polygamy business is just men's way to pin fault on their wives? Rasulullah stayed monogamous with Khadijah but married multiple ladies when the war campaign started- because many wives became widows after their husbands died in battle. Some who the Prophet married were old ladies and not pretty young things. Is this something that we can learn from?

No answers I'm afraid. Only questions.

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