Staring into My Soul
Teaching is one thing that I LOVE to do: I enjoy being in class, enjoy the interaction with my students & especially enjoy the thinking process although I do NOT enjoy research (in the literal sense) and the research paper writing process. So you may call me a glorified tuition teacher (instead of a lecturer), but then again that's also a Malaysian (and perhaps Asian?) way: if we do not do research papers, we cannot call ourselves 'lecturers'. Well I don't mind, as I am a teacher/ educator... and lately I have found a career pathway titled "Teaching & Scholarship" that does not insist that I write many research papers. Thank Goodness!!!
Don't get me wrong though: I fully and thoroughly respect the great minds that write excellent papers that the rest of us (read: I) fleece and cite, and I actually envy those who receive research grants or has research labs to do life-changing and groundbreaking research for humankind, and the whole process is not easy- intriguing, mind-blowing in some cases, and completely 'clever'! [so a lazybum like me finds it a total chore & I'd rather just tell people how to do research (i.e. supervise student projects) instead of doing multiple titles on my own EXCEPT when it is completely necessary e.g. when it contributes to my Masters award, or is needed for appraisal/ MOHE ratings]
The direction I am going towards now is the "teaching" path, i.e. focus on teaching excellence [which I am already doing however one criteria is to win teaching award(s) which I do not normally go for, because I consider myself mediocre and SO MANY OTHERS are doing a much3 more fantastic jobs than me... and eventually I would have to submit an entry for one award at least although internally I don't really want to #gasp #hyperventilate #noooooo]. See? 😂
May this 'selection' pave my way forward towards helping others, towards making me a better, kinder person, towards making better students for Malaysia and the world, towards me being a responsible educator, ...and towards the betterment of humankind? It just might happen 🙇
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