Letting Go | Acceptance

Over the years she had accumulated sacks of tin cans, for recycling, she had said.

She's planning to sell these to the "suratkhabar lama" man at some point.

In the meantime the sacks and the space in between houses sniffy critters that sometimes venture into the house. Part of the hazard of being a hoarder.

He keeps t-shirts. In countless numbers. Some were gifts that were given to him by someone. They are in different sizes, for years that he slims down and years when he grows more prosperous around the belly. Some shirts have yellowed fringes, but they do not get donated, because they can be washed and worn again, he said. In the meantime these shirts take up space and age (not like wine).

Mum collects containers. We have been able to persuade her to throw away the plastic disposable containers (ones that the government decreed to replace styrofoam containers), but she keeps the semi-permanent containers. In case we want to reuse it, she says. Over time they accumulate in the kitchen. When I was at home for Xmas I had put them in bags, to be given away/ donated/ thrown away. Hope that they disappear the next time I return home for CNY.

I collect books. LOTS of them. I buy them almost every year at Big Bad Wolf book sales but haven't quite read all of them yet. I am in the process of sorting and selling or giving them away, eventually. This is probably the 5th or 6th year of "eventually".

Why do we find it so hard to let go? Personal reasons probably. For me it is the thought of not having read the book yet. For mum and hubby it is the probability of using them in future. For her it is probably the memory, or maybe she wants more to be gathered? 

I can probably find the psychological reasons behind hoarding, but would like to share this article about Swedish death cleaning. It's not a new notion, but something that recently turned up in my feed. Basically it is about cleaning your stuff (when you have entered older age), so that your kins do not have to sort through your stuff/ make the choice when you pass away. I like the idea. I do major spring cleanings every year but STILL lots of stuff accumulate. In fact I threw away a RORO-bin-worth of stuff in November 2021 & is likely to fill another one by February 2022.

The words 'death cleaning' may sound macabre, compared to Mary Kondo's system of decluttering. The latter may also be more 'digestible' by many compared to the former. Can't imagine telling my mum "Ma, you gotta clean your things because we don't want to do it when you die". Compared to "Wouldn't it be great if we could use this space taken up by all these containers". The second one translates better for our relationship 😀

When my late grandma passed on my youngest uncle (he also passed on a few years ago) literally threw out everything from her kitchen except the pyrex plates, and everything from her wardrobe except 2-3 pieces of her clothes and may pieces of new kain batiks. We were informed to take the kain batik as needed, or her clothes for memory (I took one each; not sure what has happened to her baju kedah, but the kain batik is still with me in fact it has become one of my favourite pieces). Mum was distraught when he did this, but he was insistent: these are just taking up unnecessary space, he had said. My uncle's house reflects this. Not much clutter. Everything in place; what's on display are decorative items & the non-decorative ones are stored well out of sight. I wish I have his resolve when it comes to cleaning & throwing things away. I am probably somewhere in between my mom's and my late uncle's attitude. I donate a lot of stuff. Spring cleaning is done every year, some items are harder to let go compared to others, but eventually I loosen my hold on them and say goodbye.