Sorrow

As dusk sets there is a deepening sense of loss.. a void.. a longing.. which I know I should learn to get over. One day without help and everything is reasonably alright.. on my terms.. and things will get better once we all get used to this.

Given a choice what would I have liked to do? Probably I should have invested tons of money to mature when I reach 40 and never have to work ever again. Wishful thinking. Instead I did many stupid things and married the wrong guy. Tough, but life goes on.

The children will grow up. I am alright. Happy and free. Again, all these are relative. We define our own happiness and goals. My goalpost has changed now. The key now is survival. To be better than before. To raise proper children despite my numerous inadequacies. To move beyond petty insecurities. To leave certain people in the past. To sort out my life which seems to be perpetually in construction. I guess this is what everybody does. Nobody really has their lives figured out, right? We all bump into the wrong corners and hit some walls sometimes. Yet we keep moving forward because we must.

Please get over this my dear. Life is too beautiful. Keep on hoping. Trust in the divine powers to see you through. Love you lots!