Suspended Judgement

Last night for supper, a married friend brought his new flame along. She is a sweet young thing (in her early 20's perhaps), of average height & slim with hardly any body fat. This friend stays in KL alone while his wife resides in the East Coast, taking care of their matrimonial home & children. So I guess now he has company.

My initial reaction was: WTF. What the hell is this?

After a few minutes, the reaction changed completely to: WHATEVER. Do what you want.

As usual me the thinker & overanalyser kicked in on the drive home.

• Does she know that he is married with children? 
• If she knows, would she mind or would she step back?
• What does he see in her, that the wife could not provide- youth perhaps? Exuberance?
• Is this a phase for him (mid-life crisis) or do they intend to have a long-lasting, permanent relationship (the big M)? 
• The tricky thing with Muslim men is that they could marry more than one so there IS a possibility that they may just get hitched, with or without the wife knowing. Incidentally though, it doesn't really matter whether the wife consented to the union, as long as the husband can financially provide for her. In a way I see that polygamy is a real and legal way to protect women, rather than having men keep such women as mistresses and escorts yes?
• If or when the wife finds out, what would she do? Would she demand a divorce with a handsome settlement, or would she agree to sharing of a husband? From what I observed, women who are homemakers (... and women who are completely in love & besotted with their husbands) tend to stay in the marriage. Homemakers: Could it be that they are dependent on the husband? Could it be that the first wife is a husband's real love & she really loves him? Could it be that she would like to maintain all the benefits one gets as the first wife?
• Is she (the third party) a good person? I do hope she is, and that he sees this purity (of heart) in her instead of her physique and youth- because these fade away in time
• How much a hand did my friend have in this whole "plan"? Was she the one who seduced him, or was he the one who approached her first? Or was it love at first sight (*blech*)

Unfortunately I still AM judgemental but decided to let it go & not get involved in their romance... Parts of me now realises that I am now seeing the start of a relationship that Mr Ex himself would have gotten into in 2012 with the person who eventually became his fiance. He would have brought her along to his gatherings.. and his friends would have all kept quiet. Sad. 

Bizarre as it was, sloppy as he is, he managed to snare an ass.. and to this day there remains a minute level of irritation on my part.. BIG MISTAKE BROTHER! No thinking process behind it whatsoever. Sad, knowing that he is an educated man who can discern the value in people (hence he chose me, right???). 

Let GO. Let's observe this romance & see how far it goes. I root for the first wives' team, hands down. May we all find the happiness we seek.