It Is What It Is

Now we are growing a bit more distant. Or so I feel. Maybe not distant, but less romantically involved & more platonic.

People who know us tend to speak in jest, about when the wedding will take place (what wedding?) yet I am kinda forced to play along. Since he has not decided and he plays along ever so willingly. When will be be together in matrimony- that is an oft-repeated question (Will we ever?)

His ex came to our event today (or rather, one of his known exes- the rest are faceless & nameless). The way she looked at me: it felt like there was still unfinished business between her & S. Yesterday she joined the group dinner- I came late. Lo and behold he had sat next to her and from his behaviour he seemed nervous perhaps. I don't know. It doesn't matter.

When our friend took individual photos- ours was the only photo taken together, she got up and left for quite a while. Another friend said she got up to answer a call, but I did not hear the phone ring or blink or vibrate. Perhaps I read too much into things. Perhaps I overthink. Perhaps it was really nothing. Let's not dwell, considering there's not really much between us anymore anyways.

They would make a sweet couple probably, but for the small issue of her being married to another man. Well say if they really belong together the day may come when she gets divorced or her husband passes away & they'll be free to reconnect. Why not.

The power of letting go is that this event would have hurt me otherwise. As a bystander I am just watching it unfold without judging or allowing the situation to hurt me.