Being There

I remarried in 2019. 

He lives 6km away.

I have my own house with grown children.

Hubby and I have come to an agreement that I may spend some time in my home and some time in his home. He is respectful of the space I share with the children, and very mindful of the elder children's 'comfort' if he is around in my house. He visits once in a while, and occasionally joins us for meals, but do not normally stay for long. For now, we have "his house" and "her/ my house".

At night I will be at hubby's and in the daytime I will be with the children, when hubby is at the office.

Weekends will be fully at hubby's with my younger ones (they're not so little anymore at 14 and 12).

My older children helps to take care of their younger sisters when I am away (elder kids aged 22 and 23).

This arrangement is confusing to our friends, who asks: Why don't you two just stay together?

Mainly I think it's me who wants the children to be closer to their schools, and I want to maintain my own home to come back to. Please do not judge me. Probably some other time I will psycho-analyse myself 👻 but for now, let's leave it at that... because I haven't even gotten to the point (of this post) yet 🤣

My children are grown, yet being there is really useful and wholesome for me. There are moments when we share conversations; laughs; puns; news' updates; questions. I love that they still speak to me about their games (which I do not really understand, but try to), their funny moments at school, their friends and activities, their plans for animation (again, not something that I completely understood, but I try), and general things like "Do you hate Furbies (singular: Furby)?" [well I don't hate them but I find them strange: what are they supposed to be exactly? 🤔]

Grown kids don't speak to you as much, they're having their own lives and friends and things to do. 

So I appreciate these "growing years" conversations very much.

Occasionally the elder ones will open up and ask me adult questions, like: what do I check for in my employment contract? or how do I manage my credit card/ should I have one? or which cars are nice? or how do you decide when to buy property? and so on.. and we will talk.. 

My profession as a lecturer is probably the best (for me) because talking is something I love to do 💁

For now I am happy to be the person whom the children talk to, or refer to.. and I hope they come to me for anything anytime.. because I love them. And I love hubby MORE for being an understanding person to a selfish being like me 🙈