It is a matter of choice

I remembered this advertisement:

Why choose between:

- puppies and kittens

- husband/ relationship and career

- internet and TV channels

when you can have it all? 

First of all, all these are quite different choices that gives different outcomes.

In some cases, it is also a matter of personal preference. 

As usual, my feminist self was drawn to the husband-career divide.

A perpetual question, even on the second time round.

I am super-grateful that hubby is uber-supportive, and I count my blessings every single day. 

There is no one like him when supporting his wife for work or studies.

At the same time, being human, there is always an expectation that a wife cares for her husband.

More so in Asian families (and I have come to accept this, although internally I protest).

Why is there so much pressure on the woman/ wife, when the man/ husband could have as easily lifted his fingers and helped? The children are as much his as the wife's, and she is as equally tired coming home from work as he. Why does the cooking cleaning childcare responsibility rest solely on the woman, not the man? Is she such a superhuman that she has to do everything? (Maybe she is, or expected to be super-everything?)

This is somewhat my pet peeve, since Day 1. Many men are internally chauvinistic, it is probably their nature. I do not intend to change them and it is terribly unlikely that one woman's nagging will change thousands of years of nature/ conditioning. So I will let it be and toil on. It is a woman's job after all (followed by loud internal protest!!!!).

In short, one can have a career and a supportive husband, and a good marriage... however be prepared to put in some backbreaking work behind it. A man has his wife to support him. A woman has herself.