One Thing at a Time

Note to self: The next time our university has a Town Hall, I should just let the Live Event play and mute the speakers... and do my own thing. Read, or Write, or Fold Clothes.

I'm not sure what caused me stress: Is it because I have been here too long? There were a LOT of achievements and rightfully so, since we are a cohesive team lead by great people. Who gets thanked for the work? All or some of us? All were thanked in the end but why do I feel like this? Downtrodden.

After all that, nothing changes. We still have multiple intakes, more than we can handle. We still have to do everything: prepare for class, develop new modules, teach, mark, moderate results, approve papers, supervise projects and internships, be academic advisors, do research, do PhD, present papers, guide students for competitions, update ourselves with e-learning skills, learn ID and implement it, train/ mentor others, be a good corporate citizen, create impact for colleagues and public... and the list goes on. The harder you work, the more you get piled on you 😭

Maybe it is THIS that I am most bothered about. That some people give the impression that they are achievers and need no further recognition bla bla blaaaa YET they ask the rest to do 1001 things for them and take the credit that they have led the team towards excellence, riding on the back of others. 

Perhaps it's the (in)justice of it all? Perhaps it is just life? Perhaps it's just how organisations do things?

Did I do what I did because of recognition? No, not that I am aware of. I teach and learn about e-learning and whatever-it-is because I love doing them. I do not need titles or recognition (maybe, or do I?). How is all this anxiety-inducing? Perhaps in the sum of things this felt wrong. Can't put my finger on it though. For now I have to be happy minding my classes and students, marking my papers and finishing up the PhD. That's all that I need to do now. For myself.