Clarity

Yes he had been kind and wonderful to me.

Yes we have made some airy-fairy pie-in-the-sky lofty plans which in hindsight looked like him trying to make me feel better. There is no cement to pour in the concrete. This house is not meant to stand long.

Will the children be protected from harm? Yes I would ensure this. My priority. My true pure loves.

He considers my wellbeing. Well he tries. For that I appreciate him.

He doesn't acknowledge me in public and recoils from my touch. Sadly today I saw a throwback photo with his scornful reaction that I was too blind to see in the past. No selfies in public either. He would just DIE from the thought, never mind the actual selfie. Poor girl, what have you gotten yourself into?

So many months I had spent wondering: Could I have done better? No my dear girl, no matter what you have done it would not have changed a thing. Life lesson 101. Nothing like it.

My personal deduction. I should stop this love search business. I suck at it. Please3 save me from myself.