The hurt locker

What is important now, is to grow.

Be whole. You are whole, always. Don't be an empty shell.

I wonder how Yuzuru Hanyu is doing now. He inspires me to do better, not because of the gold medal but for the sport. He has honed his craft superbly well, he has worked and worked and worked, and I hope he will enjoy the remaining days of the Games as Japan's (and others') supporter.

This life is really wonderful my dear girl, you have no idea. How great it is to be alive, to be given opportunity to learn, teach. grow, ask questions, wonder, ponder, and push through the boundaries.

Why do I feel this way? I have to say that I am probably a bit stressed up about this postgraduate thesis that I have to write. On top of that I am easily triggered by talks of polygamy especially when hubby makes light of it. I really hate feeling like this. I really, really, really, really want to rise above. He can joke all he wants but there is no way that I will live in polygamy. I will die inside. Why live in shackles when you can live free, alone? Being married is not all that people shout about. They have their issues I'm sure, but you're not likely to see it shared on Facebook or Instagram. What is for public consumption is beautiful and perfect and kosher. The pain, the confusion, the immense patience, the lack of understanding, the challenge in communicating, the unbearable habits (and lots more issues) do not get broadcasted to the world, for obvious reasons. I know who I am and I know my troubles. You do not see me complain but that doesn't mean that I do not have issues.

Well to those who are hurting tonight, I hope you seek and find the light inside of you.

A higher power loves us, beyond words, beyond reason.

We should reciprocate and love ourselves.

You are WORTH IT!