Snow in the Sahara

Anggun's song "Snow in the Sahara" hits different now compared to before. She sang about a person who's willing to give her all to someone whom she loved, to the extent of making it snow in the Sahara. He may have lost his way, or had made some poor choices (that led him away from her), but she believed that her love will fix it all. [Girl, no matter what you do.. he will be him, I'm afraid]

Today I understood the brilliance, uniqueness and sadness of that song.

Trivia (via google): This song was written by Erick Benzi, whose most popular song was Pour que tu maimes encore (For you to love me again) sang by Celine Dion. 

Unlike Snow in the Sahara which essentially is the same in English and French, the English version titled If that's what it takes (also by Celine Dion), interestingly did not directly translate its French version (in my opinion at least). The English version captured the main theme of love and what one would do for it, but not the longing and melancholy of the French version.

[Incidentally, this is another story idea: Renee Angelil & Celine Dion vs Tommy Mottola & Mariah Carey. How 2 girls got discovered and made different choices (about their men), leading to different outcomes + relationship dynamics. Maybe they eventually become leading ladies, or assigned to work on a movie or drama together? Initially they fought but eventually warmed up to each other when they found out each others' stories].

I digress.

What I really wanted to say was: I would have done anything for him. Anything. But whatever it was that I did or promised to do, it wasn't good enough (or convincing enough) for him to let go of the others. It is what it is, no matter how heartbreaking. I say this not in the 'I-want-him-back' kind of way, but more in the 'I-know-better-now' way. Maybe he was sorry for what he did (he said he was) but the damage is done. In fact the hurt is so severe that I question my capacity to recover. 

I know things get better, and I will be okay eventually, but to start over with him is but a fraction of a glimmer of hope. For the time being we'll do our own thing. I have asked him to explore and get everyone out of his system, until he is 100% sure of me and him. If he finds someone else in the process, I will be completely happy and supportive. In fact I would really like to see who this perfect person would be. If he doesn't, he can keep looking until he does find her, or until he decides without any shadow of a doubt that it's me. That is my mindset. For healing. 💪