Intertwined

This is probably true when 2 people are involved in a relationship: we get caught up in each others' lives and in some cases it is hard to pull away. It is not a hypothesis but a mere assumption with no basis. Well maybe just a one-sided basis i.e. my own experience. (What am I getting at here???)

What I wanted to say is, once I dated N or S.. somehow there is a need to connect all the time. In comparison before we had the relationship I was quite fine on my own thank you very much. Didn't have to check my whatsapp 5 times a day, right?

Now with S my whatsapp usage is tapering back to almost normal.. because he is busy most of the time.. and sometimes don't even have time to reply to my messages.

(What courage will it take for me to participate in this relationship?)

How long do we chill? As long as we want, I suppose. I will do my own thing & he his. (Do we have a relationship then?). Maybe I am overanalyzing, as usual. I will let it be for as long as I can be patient. When the patience runs out, well we'll see (right?).

I feel my heart is taken care of. I feel that I have a friend who's there for me. I feel that I have someone to bounce off my stories/ ideas/ issues. That's not too bad yeah? (as compared to being an alone lonely soul).

Is he the person for me? He could be. He calms me down. My balance. Will this be enough? What do I want really? Can someone help me with it?

2000 questions. As usual. No specific answers for now. Awaiting for inspiration. (Help me please).