How to Avoid an Affair
During lunch yesterday we talked about relationships & how they knew the significant other is the one for them:
Azam said he knew he wanted to marry his wife because she is (and has always been) his best friend.
Amy said she decided to marry her husband because he made her feel safe & took care of her.
[Why did I decide to marry Mr Ex? Because I wanted to spend my life with him. Because I thought we would have a lot of fun together. Perhaps we did, for the first few years before all his old habits resurfaced. All those girls. I don't think he'll ever be able to survive in a monogamous relationship.]
Anyway, the conversation steered towards 'how do you avoid an affair?'. Azam shared his friend's story: every time he considered having an affair, he would come home and look into his children's faces as they sleep & he would end the affair the very next day.
As for me, I just can't do it. I would not be able to look the person in the eyes if I had been the least bit naughty with another man.
So the game plan now is to look for someone who is genetically engineered to be faithful OR someone with a conscience who can take a moment to rationalise the impact of his actions OR (at least) someone with the bloody guts to look me in the eyes and say 'this is not working out, let's go our separate ways'. Let's do that, shall we? First choice is of course the man with the conscience, any day.
Azam said he knew he wanted to marry his wife because she is (and has always been) his best friend.
Amy said she decided to marry her husband because he made her feel safe & took care of her.
[Why did I decide to marry Mr Ex? Because I wanted to spend my life with him. Because I thought we would have a lot of fun together. Perhaps we did, for the first few years before all his old habits resurfaced. All those girls. I don't think he'll ever be able to survive in a monogamous relationship.]
Anyway, the conversation steered towards 'how do you avoid an affair?'. Azam shared his friend's story: every time he considered having an affair, he would come home and look into his children's faces as they sleep & he would end the affair the very next day.
As for me, I just can't do it. I would not be able to look the person in the eyes if I had been the least bit naughty with another man.
So the game plan now is to look for someone who is genetically engineered to be faithful OR someone with a conscience who can take a moment to rationalise the impact of his actions OR (at least) someone with the bloody guts to look me in the eyes and say 'this is not working out, let's go our separate ways'. Let's do that, shall we? First choice is of course the man with the conscience, any day.
posted by elya at 9:16 am
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