In his arms | Keeping a distance
It is terribly sad when the person you are involved with do not share the same degree of commitment. I have marriage in mind (perhaps it was too presumptuous of me) and he wanted a romantic relationship. So I have now decided to keep my distance. I don't do relationships that lead nowhere.
Sure I do enjoy his company. Perhaps I could even say with certainty that I love him, and he loves me (probably) yet there is no urgency or need to be married (on his part). In a liberal environment where there is no heaven or hell, I would probably agree to be his civil law wife (see, they use the term wife too!) but in this case I would have to slam on the brakes. Cohabitation is not my thing. No matter how open minded I am, I would still like to be legally married to someone (some day).
So- the road is really open wide for me now. I do not have to wait for anyone anymore. Well S didn't expect me to wait for him either, but that's what I have kind been doing. Hoping. Longing. Yearning for a sign or an indication, or something!
Morally I have to have a clear conscience. We are not headed to a common direction, so it is safe to part ways. I do not plan to find a replacement anytime soon, but I would have to adjust my plans a little bit to accommodate my new status. Single & available. He would rather not have me date other people (he says), but now I need to be clear that I have not promised him my hand (nor has he asked!). I will be his friend. Occasionally I will attend our common events. We have many common friends. Both of us are professionals. We should be able to handle this reasonably comfortably. When there is no hate, I suppose the process of letting go & healing is experienced in shorter cycles.
S, I wish you the best and I do honestly hope that you find someone worthwhile to settle down with. Someone who fits your usual profile of female(s) you date, one with similar interests, has similar schedule (perhaps a singleton too) & one who can treat you well. I had wanted to write Goodbye, but the apt phrase is Till we meet again. Whatever right. We will meet again as friends, and be totally okay with it all.
Sure I do enjoy his company. Perhaps I could even say with certainty that I love him, and he loves me (probably) yet there is no urgency or need to be married (on his part). In a liberal environment where there is no heaven or hell, I would probably agree to be his civil law wife (see, they use the term wife too!) but in this case I would have to slam on the brakes. Cohabitation is not my thing. No matter how open minded I am, I would still like to be legally married to someone (some day).
So- the road is really open wide for me now. I do not have to wait for anyone anymore. Well S didn't expect me to wait for him either, but that's what I have kind been doing. Hoping. Longing. Yearning for a sign or an indication, or something!
Morally I have to have a clear conscience. We are not headed to a common direction, so it is safe to part ways. I do not plan to find a replacement anytime soon, but I would have to adjust my plans a little bit to accommodate my new status. Single & available. He would rather not have me date other people (he says), but now I need to be clear that I have not promised him my hand (nor has he asked!). I will be his friend. Occasionally I will attend our common events. We have many common friends. Both of us are professionals. We should be able to handle this reasonably comfortably. When there is no hate, I suppose the process of letting go & healing is experienced in shorter cycles.
S, I wish you the best and I do honestly hope that you find someone worthwhile to settle down with. Someone who fits your usual profile of female(s) you date, one with similar interests, has similar schedule (perhaps a singleton too) & one who can treat you well. I had wanted to write Goodbye, but the apt phrase is Till we meet again. Whatever right. We will meet again as friends, and be totally okay with it all.
posted by elya at 1:19 pm
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