Valentine's Day
Today is the day to celebrate love... or so people say.
To me personally Valentine's Day is overrated and too highly commercialised, hence I do not celebrate it. It puts unnecessary pressure to buy something special for someone (on top of anniversary gifts, birthday gifts and whatever else).
However I get the privilege to see how others rejoice in the day of love.
Many decided to have a nice dinner somewhere. Some go out together or just walk hand in hand into the sunset. I was at the gym just now and leaving the mall I can see many facets of marital relationship, primarily in men who seem to almost scorn being with their family. Some seem reluctant, some are completely pleased to be with each other, some would probably would rather be somewhere else (or even perhaps with someone else, who knows?).
When I do marry, I would like my husband to enjoy being in my presence & of course, me in his. These things come naturally from the well of emotion that is derived from gratitude, and perhaps love. If at any point he scorns being with me, he is bloody free to leave anytime. If loving is too much work for him then I do not want to be on the receiving end either.
Perhaps I am just not ready for marriage. Perhaps I will never be. On that note however, I am also uninterested with an open ended casual relationship. Where does it stop?
With Mr Ex, I suspect that he regretted ever marrying me. Towards the end of our marriage there was a lot of bitterness & unresolved anger, so he resorted to start afresh with someone new. Apt & reasonably easy to handle, rather than being with an ogre like me.
Whoever it is that plans to marry me, if at any time I sense reluctance or choking, I'm out!
It is simple enough- choose self-love above anyone or anything else. I come first. Period.
To me personally Valentine's Day is overrated and too highly commercialised, hence I do not celebrate it. It puts unnecessary pressure to buy something special for someone (on top of anniversary gifts, birthday gifts and whatever else).
However I get the privilege to see how others rejoice in the day of love.
Many decided to have a nice dinner somewhere. Some go out together or just walk hand in hand into the sunset. I was at the gym just now and leaving the mall I can see many facets of marital relationship, primarily in men who seem to almost scorn being with their family. Some seem reluctant, some are completely pleased to be with each other, some would probably would rather be somewhere else (or even perhaps with someone else, who knows?).
When I do marry, I would like my husband to enjoy being in my presence & of course, me in his. These things come naturally from the well of emotion that is derived from gratitude, and perhaps love. If at any point he scorns being with me, he is bloody free to leave anytime. If loving is too much work for him then I do not want to be on the receiving end either.
Perhaps I am just not ready for marriage. Perhaps I will never be. On that note however, I am also uninterested with an open ended casual relationship. Where does it stop?
With Mr Ex, I suspect that he regretted ever marrying me. Towards the end of our marriage there was a lot of bitterness & unresolved anger, so he resorted to start afresh with someone new. Apt & reasonably easy to handle, rather than being with an ogre like me.
Whoever it is that plans to marry me, if at any time I sense reluctance or choking, I'm out!
It is simple enough- choose self-love above anyone or anything else. I come first. Period.
posted by elya at 11:55 pm
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