Youth Aggression

There are 2 videos in life that I wished I hadn't watched: one is the beheading of Daniel Pearl and the second, the video of some school bullies beating up their helpless counterpart (commentary in https://my.theasianparent.com/malaysian-bullying-video-gone-viral/).

As a mother who is raising 5 children, I feel for the person who was beaten up, like he was one of my own. He covered his head and did not respond or fight back as he was kicked and punched. I guess he understood in his own way the primal need of bullies to take control & not be objected to in any way, lest he (they) may be inflamed by retaliation. So much of work is put in to raise one child & here is he is, beaten up by idiots.

PLEASE REFRAIN FROM WATCHING THE VIDEO IF YOU ARE AS FAINTHEARTED AS ME, AND JUST BE HAPPY WITH READING ITS COMMENTARY IN THE WEB LINK (ABOVE).

In recent months, Malaysians were shook to the core from the deaths of 2 young individuals: Zulfarhan Osman Zulkarnain (21) and T. Nhaveen (19) due to excessive beatings, allegedly at the hands of their peers (http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory/malaysia-police-investigate-alleged-bullying-death-murder-48076052).

I wished that youngsters and teens would resort to better ways to express their feelings (like taking up martial arts & beating people up the legal way), instead of taking someone's life in their hands. Granted, the perpetrators may not have intended to kill anyone. However, they may not have realised that the total impact of a few hundred blows can actually maim or cause death due to brain trauma or punctured organs or even organ failure (this is from my limited understanding from having studied criminal law & from watching CSI, not from any medical or forensic background obviously!).

Amongst my peers (especially males), there is this casual feeling about 'bullying'. In a way they see it as a rite of passage somewhat. My younger brother was 'bullied' while in boarding school. Apparently most seniors do it (because they can) and there is no point telling anybody because you'll be ostracised (or bullied) even more.

Personally I was lucky to not have experienced any physical bullying, but had a bit of verbal abuse here and there while growing up (which some people say may be worst)."Mean Girls" ring any bell? Went through that especially in the early part of my high school & when I scored high marks in the exams and was moved to a better class that kinda shut everybody up. I am happy to report that I survived & grew up to be a reasonably well-adjusted individual.

At what point does 'bullying' become wrong? Or is it wrong from the get-go? Looking at the definitions by psychologists, it is not at all encouraged at any degree. At what point does 'banter' turns into bullying? When there is physical harm? Or emotional hurt? For me at least, it is not easy to define. Perhaps what I can offer from my limited understanding is: Bullying is when the human dignity is affected. It becomes uncool when someone is injured emotionally or physically (regardless of degree, whether minor or major) as a result. It could happen with or without any intention to maim or injure... and the impact may last for a lifetime (this is based on personal account).

Another fearful thing is that in certain cases the bullies appear completely innocent and model citizens, which boggles the mind. In some cases perhaps we have become de-sensitised after playing violent online games (like GTA for example, whereby you (I) don't think much about yanking someone out of his car or beating up a grocer) or watching a certain number of Hollywood movies or wrestling matches... but then these are just speculations of my own.

At the end of the day, I do hope that the authorities do take swift action that will send a strong message that bullying is not okay. It is counter-productive and harmful and inhumane. There has to be a proper SOP as well in schools/ learning institutions, on how to handle bullying cases, instead of hoping that they'll beat each other up outside the school compound & letting the police handle it.