Stories I Needed to Tell

My husband, he is a wonderful kind person. That's the truth.

He is super reliable if you needed help. For anything. That's also the truth.

He is patient and easygoing. Traveling with him is so much fun. Again, truth and 5 stars.

He is generous. Ask and you shall receive (within means).

(But then, I am not really the asking kind & I almost never ask him for anything except on very rare occasions. Even then I never ask for anything bizarre or outlandish. A laptop bag. A telekung. Fried kuetiaw. Haha. For context)

However, he also has trouble announcing our relationship to the world.

(By "world" I meant social media, FB particularly not even IG, X or Tiktok)

Not even one entry mentions the bad word "wife" in any of his posts.

He walks away from family photos.

He doesn't want to spend Raya in my mom's house 

(perhaps ever, because he says he needs to honour his mom when she's alive hence every Raya will be spent with his mum & not mine)

Red flags much???

Over the years I have tried to understand the situation.

Perhaps because he gives me a lot of leeways too.

Such as I could spend weekday nights in my own house with the children.

(that's the other thing, he cannot be persuaded to sleep even 1 night at my house; on account that my children need their space; for context my children are aged between 14 to 26)

Am I overthinking this? 

Perhaps

Am I being a prick about him being a 'perpetual bachelor'?

Perhaps too

Should I announce our marriage to the world (i.e. FB)?

I don't know

Would it not be weird if I was the one who announced it and not him?

Maybe I am overthinking?

He says it's a small matter.

Miniscule.

Why am I making a big deal out of it?

AM I?

I get tired of this.

Feels like I'm being gaslighted.

I am planning to go for therapy.

And I have also signed up for a writing course.

Need to channel all these into a novel.

Before I really lose my mind.

GASLIGHTING definition (because it's a Gen Z lingo): “It's making someone seem or feel unstable, irrational and not credible, making them feel like what they're seeing or experiencing isn't real, that they're making it up, that no one else will believe them.” Gaslighting involves an imbalance of power between the abuser and the person they're gaslighting.20 Feb 2024

Source: Forbes Health "What is Gaslighting?"