I thought I was happy

Turns out delusional happy is also happy. Being under a false impression of being loved, had felt like love. My tears will keep falling for a couple more days, or weeks, and eventually I will be okay.

Once the goodbye is final, we can finally go our separate ways. I wish him happiness. The best match in my view would have been his best friend from Terengganu, who all these while have been working in KL. She is beautiful, independent, and most importantly, single. The plans he made with me could very easily be transferred to her.. and they're both from the East Coast, so she is not really uprooting herself. She will just be coming back home. My confident bravado that I have tamed a perpetual bachelor has led to my ruin. Who did I think I was? No matter how I spin this, I could not be her or Aiza or Che Na or Azhani or his type. The fact is: he has always had MANY choices. Even throughout the marriage. I was a prop in his drama set, constantly in the background, but not quite the main actress, or the soloist. He was.

Moral of the story: I must love myself double than now. Maybe triple. Nobody loves me like I do.