The Best Love Story Ever Written

... has to be the love story you have with yourself

           the highs and the lows

                 the heartaches and the joys

                        the failures and achievements

I have been with me all the way

My best supporter and at times my worst enemy

There is this high-level high-quality love reserved for the Creator, for Self, and for Children born from one's womb (in my opinion, from experience; I have no psychology training). The hardest love to express is love for self (context: Asian, female, eldest daughter, Muslim). After 2 divorces, and multiple disappointments in the friendship department, I have decided to grow that love for self. Grateful I am for the lessons I have learnt. It's of utmost importance to forgive self and not beat myself too hard.

My love was sincere. Both times. But my actions fall short, according to both my husbands. And it's completely fine. I'll survive. There was probably one person who adored me during my younger years; I think he would have stayed had I chosen him. But I hadn't because I didn't love him. Looking back and with hindsight, I should have chosen him because love can be developed. He had the highest probability of being a loyal and non-straying husband amongst ALL potential and actual matches I have had. I had been a fool and probably cursed by 2 terrible matches. I have embraced everything. That person has passed on and I recite Al-Fatihah to him every time he comes across my mind.

Life is not coded that way, unfortunately. There is no algorithm to correct or fix. Things happen, consequences ensue action. I cannot undo the choices I have made. I just need to accept and forgive myself, and keep walking. The circumstances are such. No matter how much my heart breaks, I will keep smiling. Hugsssss to me!!!!