When I was home for Hari Raya I had the opportunity to visit one of my (estranged) cousins, let's just call her KM. Why estranged? Until recently, she has disappeared from our family radar as she had had some issues e.g. her divorce from a physically abusive her husband, a complicated relationship with a married man, trying to get her daughter married off etc. Items 1 and 2 are out of the way and now she is working on item 3: to marry off her daughter (let's call her Z) to an eligible bachelor.
I would agree that all mothers want the best for their daughters. In KM's case however, what's best depends on how big is the guy's wallet and what's in it. Her daughter just started work about 2 years ago and earns the market rate as far as salaries go, from what I gather it's between RM2,500 to RM3,000 which is fair. She is on the prowl for men earning RM10,000 minimum per month, so as to secure her future (to put it bluntly). Of course love can be complicated and ROI may not be the only pre-condition but based on the thinking pattern of mom and daughter, RM10k is the key to happiness.
During the Hari Raya visit KM was going on about the trials and tribulations that Z had to go through in her quest for happiness and hubby was there to hear all about it. On the way back he commented that it is definitely possible to look for a (Malaysian) man Z's age that earns that kind of salary- he's probably earning that sum in an oil-rig someplace or working overseas or working locally clocking 60 hours per week minimum. Z will probably be home alone most of the time as a result & she will have to deal with it. Another possibility is an imbalance of bargaining power, as the earning power is unequal despite the age similarity.
Anyway, I do wish them the best. Anything in life is possible if you believe in it. If it's up to me they're going about it all wrong. To look for money, you must spend some money- join a golf club or do something to access the inner circles of the upper crust and work your way from there. It will be a lot of work but can be worthwhile, if money is what they're looking for.
As for me, I'd advise my daughter to be her best self and take the plunge with the man who loves her and one who makes her happy. That was a choice I made and am happily sticking with.
