Changes/ Dependency

Truth be told, I am a little anxious (and a bit depressed) to be starting work again. What do I do? I suppose mothers the world over battles over this issue- work/career vs motherhood. In most cases they don't clash because we're such great multi-taskers (I guess) but having my fourth child makes me think very seriously about quitting my job to be a full-time mother.

It is ironic that I gave birth to this child, spends my whole waking hours with her during my confinement- nursing & caring for her- and come 12 Jan I have to hand her over to my foul-mouthed, uneducated maid to raise her in my absence. My other children already uses maid's certain rude words (one of it being an equivalent of "Are you blind?") and I have had to undo her bad practices. It's also terribly irritating to see her bully my children into submission, threatening not to do certain things for them if they don't comply with her demands (e.g. give me a piece of your pizza or I won't go to the park with you or get this-and-that for me or I won't make your chocolate drink for you). Sometimes I wonder why I bother with her. We pay her too much salary & now she acts as if she's part-owner of the household.

Maybe Les was right. Ours is a nation too dependent on housemaids. He grew up as a latchkey kid- takes care of himself when he comes home from school and waits for mum to come back after work. No maids, and he turned out pretty well. I myself grew up with my mother's presence all the way but is unable to do the same for my own children. Mrs Kwan raised her children to be independent- never had a maid in her life. I wonder what would happen a few years into the future when these children grow up? Indirectly (or maybe even more directly than we care to think), our housemaids would have a hand in shaping our country's future. A chilling thought, wouldn't you think?

Life in the Public Eye

The Internet- love it or hate it- will be around for a loooong time.

Just out of curiosity I googled my name today and a list of accurate search results came out (that IS the point of a search engine, is it not?). A person doing the search would know where I work, my timetable, my college activities and my office e-mail. It even offered a link to my facebook account (oh noooooo!).

When I googled hubby's name, not as many search results were obtained- only 2 pages instead of more than 10 for mine (does this mean that I'm more popular? :p)- but it gave quite an extensive picture of his activities since Uni, his previous job, an alumni association he joined and the activities they did. One of the pages even contained his IC number (what about data protection, PEOPLE?).

Hubby started making an appearance as early as 1997 as a member of the engineering faculty at his Uni, as opposed to my emergence on the Net only after I started teaching.

Is nothing private anymore?

Am I overreacting or is this a real cause for concern?

Let's just deliberate this for a while. Out of 6 billion plus people on this planet, how many will be looking for me? None, perhaps (but it takes just 1 person with an evil thought...). Besides, to search a name on the Internet one has to know my full name (but my business cards have been widely circulated...!). However, do remember that I am rather unknown (I hope) and uninteresting (without a doubt) so I would not be the first person on most people's mind to be destroyed... and I have no vested interest in anything of significance for people to carry out a smear campaign against. One good thing though, this widespread online presence will make the name owner think twice about doing anything bad, because everyone would know about it (eventually).

Hope you've enjoyed my schizoprenic presentation today. Thank you for reading.

Work of Fiction

I completed a 4,066 word short story in just a matter of days. If only I could write as fast for my thesis (... and if only fiction by me counts as academic literature!)

Having finished the work, I am now a true believer of the saying "Do not waste time waiting for inspiration. Begin, and inspiration will find you."

As I write, I began to respect writers even more. Jeffrey Archer reportedly disciplines himself to sit down and write something every morning- I must've read this in an interview somewhere- and look at the success that he is now.

For me, it is now time to let my lofty dream of writing materialise. Let's see if I am writer material after all...

Line of Trust

Our immediate neighbour may be the most trusting people of all time, more trusting than me perhaps. They are installing their kitchen cabinet at home after extending their kitchen area. Nothing extraordinary about installing a kitchen cabinet, I'd admit, but they have left their 16 year old niece, 14 year old daughter and 1 year old son at home while this is happening.

The wife called my housemaid to tell her to 'tengok-tengok' while she goes to work. I get worried when young girls are left alone in a house where a few grown men are working with sharp tools. No doubt they have us as neighbours to look-see what's happening but we can never be too safe. And we can only do so much- we do have our own house to look after.

Maybe the parents' rationale is that the contractors are a trustworthy lot. I'm just hoping that the girls' guardian angels are working double-time to avoid any untoward incidents.

What I Want

What I want and how I'm living my life now is rather divergent, to say the least. I had wanted a job that gives me the opportunity to travel, but hubby got it instead, and he does not even like travelling- how ironic is that? I can't rely on others to make it happen, so I have to take charge. It's back to the drawing board, I'm afraid. At this point I have accepted that my choice of work do not open myself to travelling opportunities.

Two more years of teaching, and then what? Is there an ideal job that allows me to work from home, and lets me travel intermittently (say, at least once every quarter)? This is the new millenium where anything is possible. I'd better get right down to it. Brainstorm & shortlist away, my dear girl!