Equal Rights?

There is no such thing as "equal rights". Equal opportunities, perhaps, but not equal rights when it comes to most things. Being a mother of five children, I do at least 80% (or perhaps closer to 100%) of housework and childcare duties. When a child gets sick mummy gets up to give medication & most probably will be the one who will (is expected?) to take time off work to take care of him/ her. I'll be the one who wakes up intermittently to feed the child during the breastfeeding phase (arguably, hubby is not biologically equipped to do this). Cleaning up of the house, ironing, preparing food, doing the laundry, taking care of the children (not in any order of importance) are other things that a mother does (I do). Hubby is the "financier" (his words, not mine)- he pays for the major bills/expenses; I get a specific amount to spend on household expenses & will usually top-up any shortfalls from my own salary... as I have decided years ago that we would no longer fight about money or expenses.

At work a woman wrestles with her priorities- work or life? My children are growing up in someone else's care and adopting (consciously or subconsciously) their values. I struggle with the never-ending question: am I being a good mother (am I doing the best that I can?). I doubt men asks these questions: Do I stay at work or do I quit to take care of the children? Am I being a good father? (some men do ask Question 2, I hope).

I am as well-educated as hubby but I earn 25% less (maybe because I did my professional course which made me start work 1 year later- but technically the added certificate should have given me a better salary.. should it not?). I go home to a second 'job' (which I enjoy, mostly) while hubby goes out cycling with his friends or plan a college re-union or go out for tea/ supper or stay late at work (or whatever). Should I have been more adamant and insist that he stays home after work? I'd be bored stiff (... probably a tad irritated too) & he'll be a grumpy old troll- would rather not risk that outcome.

Even though I hold (once held) a managerial post at work and hubby is supportive (and recognises the financial rewards that come with it), certain things like staying back to finish up work or Saturday briefings for new staff or supporting an Education Fair or answering calls after work hours (on certain days) are found rather abhorrent and not encouraged. NEWS FLASH: these comes with the post! I have since let go of that post as I need my mental faculties intact and would rather not get into domestic battles to justify what I do at work.

Despite the 30% government 'ruling' (recommendation) of women representation at board-level (or management level at least), we only have 2 female Heads of School in a sea of men & our meetings are testosterone-led (however, to be fair, male lecturers/ academics are much nicer and more reasonable... and perhaps more patient with female indecision (emotions) compared to male lawyers).

Please do not misunderstand me (as this blogs starts to go down the whining track)... I love my children and love the fact that hubby has interests that keeps him busy BUT I would love some support in the house (finally, the real issue!). The constructive kind. Maybe I should do the foolish thing and ask for it. What's the WORST thing that could happen?