Eyes Wide Open
Today is the reception for my friend who married someone's husband.
I attended the ceremony. As she happened to be one of my closer friends.
Yet I feel conflicted. Why?
In my heart, I do wish her happiness.
As she has been searching for many years with many men and through many tears.
I hope he's a good man. Based on his company, he probably is.
His best man gave a speech about the beauty of marrying your best friend.
I doubt that personally. How is she his best friend & he, hers?
He hasn't cropped up in the picture until very recently & all that stuff is shrouded in mystery.
She normally tells us about the men she dated but not this one.
Lo and behold, she drops a message that the marriage happened.
Even in his speech, he said they crossed path 2 years ago as they happen to be from the same hometown. They reconnected in Ramadan this year for breaking of fast & the rest, as they say, is history.
My overactive imagination + devil's advocate thinking suspects that this is a case of him throwing a line & she took the bait hook line and sinker. He has his good points I'm quite, sure so she wouldn't have had such a bad bargain.
Knowing what I know, based on the information volunteered to me, I do hope that he will be fair to both his wives and manage these marriages the best that he can.
Emotionally, I feel a void. A little drifting away from her too perhaps.
In my heart of hearts I do wish that the first wife will NEVER EVER find out.
Because finding out something like this is probably one of the worst feeling in the world.
Like being punched in the stomach.
Like hovering in between reality and fantasy, not knowing what to grasp.
Like a person who is so useless that you get tossed aside for someone new.
Well that's just my demons that needed slaying.
Looks like they're not completely dead & gone yet.
Who would be suitable in a polygamous marriage?
In my view a really strong-hearted and iron-will sort of man.
Meets a determined, devil-may-care woman with fantastic self confidence.
Good financial position of the groom may help, but not a pre-requisite.
The first wife is usually patient & has an immense capacity to forgive
(and in many cases, completely clueless of the whole shenanigan until one fine day)
This is again a very personal observation, based on what has happened around me.
Certain people also chose not to be in the photo.
Perhaps they had rather not be seen as 'getting involved' or in cahoots with the grand master plan.
Why be a moral police?
From the perspective of 'making a good woman out of her', they have sealed the deal in holy matrimony. He has good intentions.
My view is my own and every one is entitled to their own opinion.
That I had felt conflicted & not comfortable is immaterial.
Her life will be led by her and her man.
and they take responsibility on the decisions they have made.
Together.
Overthinking as usual, but you know me right?
Complex is my middle name.
I attended the ceremony. As she happened to be one of my closer friends.
Yet I feel conflicted. Why?
In my heart, I do wish her happiness.
As she has been searching for many years with many men and through many tears.
I hope he's a good man. Based on his company, he probably is.
His best man gave a speech about the beauty of marrying your best friend.
I doubt that personally. How is she his best friend & he, hers?
He hasn't cropped up in the picture until very recently & all that stuff is shrouded in mystery.
She normally tells us about the men she dated but not this one.
Lo and behold, she drops a message that the marriage happened.
Even in his speech, he said they crossed path 2 years ago as they happen to be from the same hometown. They reconnected in Ramadan this year for breaking of fast & the rest, as they say, is history.
My overactive imagination + devil's advocate thinking suspects that this is a case of him throwing a line & she took the bait hook line and sinker. He has his good points I'm quite, sure so she wouldn't have had such a bad bargain.
Knowing what I know, based on the information volunteered to me, I do hope that he will be fair to both his wives and manage these marriages the best that he can.
Emotionally, I feel a void. A little drifting away from her too perhaps.
In my heart of hearts I do wish that the first wife will NEVER EVER find out.
Because finding out something like this is probably one of the worst feeling in the world.
Like being punched in the stomach.
Like hovering in between reality and fantasy, not knowing what to grasp.
Like a person who is so useless that you get tossed aside for someone new.
Well that's just my demons that needed slaying.
Looks like they're not completely dead & gone yet.
Who would be suitable in a polygamous marriage?
In my view a really strong-hearted and iron-will sort of man.
Meets a determined, devil-may-care woman with fantastic self confidence.
Good financial position of the groom may help, but not a pre-requisite.
The first wife is usually patient & has an immense capacity to forgive
(and in many cases, completely clueless of the whole shenanigan until one fine day)
This is again a very personal observation, based on what has happened around me.
Certain people also chose not to be in the photo.
Perhaps they had rather not be seen as 'getting involved' or in cahoots with the grand master plan.
Why be a moral police?
From the perspective of 'making a good woman out of her', they have sealed the deal in holy matrimony. He has good intentions.
My view is my own and every one is entitled to their own opinion.
That I had felt conflicted & not comfortable is immaterial.
Her life will be led by her and her man.
and they take responsibility on the decisions they have made.
Together.
Overthinking as usual, but you know me right?
Complex is my middle name.
posted by elya at 5:56 am
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home