I was a weird child growing up (well I am still a weird adult, so nothing much has changed 👻) and has experienced bullies in many shapes and forms.
Most of my schooling experience were spent in girls' schools. If you have watched Mean Girls you can pretty much picture the scenario, but with no boys around. Our teachers were mostly females too. Lots of evil reincarnate characters exist in my former schools, and they were up to mischief whenever the teachers were lot looking. In comparison though, my brush with bullies were mostly harmless and I found a way to deal with the anger by writing my frustrations & thereafter tearing the paper, while imagining myself tearing the person's face apart. Many people say, and I disagree, that handling bullies made you stronger people. Maybe, but ideally bullies should not have existed in the first place. The behaviour is not normal and we should ideally be able to tell them off. No such luck for me growing up however, because I was too chicken to say anything. I just walked away, or just do very well in the exams to move to a better class who have more weird people and less bullies.
A close friend just shared that his son had been bullied since he started boarding school. This person tormented him since he was 13. He is now almost 18 and bearing the brunt of the experience. The bully made him steal, lie and inflict physical harm if his demands are refused.
Currently the bully is being remanded pending further investigation in this matter. My friend's family is planning legal action for assault and battery. I hope they succeed, an more importantly, I hope her son will find the strength to get back on track with his family support & his mother's love.
In the news we saw the decision being handed down for the 'bullies' in causing death to navy cadet Zulfarhan Othman https://www.astroawani.com/berita-malaysia/six-upnm-students-found-guilty-culpable-homicide-death-zulfarhan-osman-328697
The deceased was beaten and tortured to extract a confession out of him, when a laptop was stolen. His death was caused by burns inflicted from a hot steam iron. I wonder what went through the boys' minds that night. Zulfarhan must have been terrified, yet insisted on telling the truth, like he was brought up to do. The others could have acted violently in the moment/ due to mob mentality, and may have regretted giving the blows that caused Zulfarhan his life. Would they have done what they did, had the circumstances been different? May his soul rest in peace. The perpetrators were handed down 18 years in jail for culpable homicide not amounting to murder and I consider life in jail bad enough as their punishment, but I do hope that they have the presence of mind to process this incident, learn from it and never do it again. 18 years in jail is a large part of their lives. Returning to society will pose its own challenges I'm sure (but I will not get into the debates of Crime and Punishment here).
In closing, bullies exist. For whatever reason.
It is not okay to bully, in any circumstance.