Am I a Smart Person?

The more I do the PhD, the less smart I think I am. There are so many things to learn, to prove, to justify. As a legally trained person, I get it. The support, the claim, the deductions, the inferences. However academic writing and research is a whole different ballgame altogether. It is deep. It is insightful. It can be maddening too. No wonder another acronym for PhD is permanent head damage. It is fully possible (or is the word probable?).

How do we even know the language to use, the consistency, the looping back to the objectives and questions, the endless queries. And I have asked 200 odd questions myself, because a justified answer is important to me. I am not one who claims things; nor do I stand on false beliefs.

The good news is: I have good writing skills. That much a number of people have agreed.

My research skills on the other hand, leaves much to be desired. I have seen samples of Chapter 3 that is so much simpler than mine. Or is this a Malaysian thing? I love the Scandinavian style. So relaxed and accepting. No heavy philosophic discussion. Just plain old plan & execution.

I will somehow get through this. GOD HELP ME!

Unhappiness

Sometimes it is worthwhile pursuing what we love best. 

Not talking about a love interest (i.e. a person), but more of the profession of choice.

I have taught in higher education for nearly 20 years, and only now have started to dabble in research.

My core interest and joy is in the actual teaching. However the research will help enhance the teaching. I do get it. Previously I have done research in a loose sense when reading deeper into certain topics and disciplines, but have not had the inclination to write proper research.

Now that I'm doing a PhD, I have started doing research writing.

[Caution: My pathway is not the common pathway, so if you are interested in academic-related professions please start your research and paper writing early. Perhaps as early as your 20s. No kidding].

This blog, as usual, relates to someone else. But self-indulgent me started with a personal story. Because this is my blog. Deal with it. Never mind that nobody reads this blog. Haha

ANYWAYS,

A colleague was appointed to join the Design School, and all students loved his teaching.

When he was appointed to be the Head of School for Postgraduate Studies, he obliged. However it looked like he was beholden and not being a happy person in this post. Just my silly observation as a socially inadequate person [btw did I tell you that I did an autism test & apparently I am autistic?]. I probably should do a proper or certified testing (rather than an online one) but it helps to explain a couple of things e.g. why I love to plan things & have events happen in order. My Hari Raya holidays with hubby can be an organisation issue, because his family is super relaxed with an open schedule. Go to this house, then stay for as long as they want, and then travel to another house, or skip it and go to the beach. My mind just cannot focus or plan or expect what's going to happen next.

ANYWAYS, that is who I am and I am happy being me. I wish sometimes I could be flexible. Like Marie Kondo who finds it hard to be spick and span after 3 kids, I have adapted and be less pedantic when it comes to schedules. 

As for my colleague, I hope he finds his happiness. He is a great person, and I hope he can speak up and say what is on his mind. [I have speculated a lot and epistemologically I haven't justified this finding assumption; consider this a mere observation of another human being]. Doing what he loves is important, for his sake and all of ours 💖

A Flash of Brilliance

Success takes hard work, and very rarely will it happen on a whim.

Hence is my work with online learning. 

I am not successful, far from it. I am but a beginner, scrambling my way through all this.

HOW DO I DO IT AND MAKE IT WORK?

I am ALL FOR free education and sharing. However the online learning platforms ARE NOT FREE.

What is the best way to develop and teach a structured module?

The only way that I can see how is informal, the youtube way.

The simplest way possible is to prepare a presentation slide, or a whiteboard & teach away... AND after that organise the lessons in a playlist.

Another possible old-fashioned way is via blog... BUT their pages may not be too organised.

How to be more structured? Maybe use proper naming techniques: topics 1, 2, 3?

Moodle is cumbersome because it creates multiple intakes/ pages and we have to import content EVERY TIME we have a new class.

Openlearning is probably one of the best platforms (if not the best), modules are reasonably easy to develop & as a learner, the platform is easy to use too. Just follow the blocks one by one & get on with the lessons. Progress bar helps too, to follow through & identify missed parts. 

Personally I am more for the openlearning style. Repeating myself 4-5 times in a year gets to me. After a few intakes I DON'T FEEL LIKE I WANT TO DO IT ANYMORE!

Understandably the openlearning pages cannot be free for the content developers, because they have a whole lot of sophisticated machinery running in the background to manage the modules: content development, classroom management, chat functions. All these takes excellent coding to get them running, and they cannot be free for obvious reasons.

The next question is: will I be able to afford giving away free education?

In that lies a conundrum. Free education is not free 🤔

Maybe this is another potential research. The thinking behind learning: structured (Lessons in academic context) vs unstructured (ODL). Arguably ODL also needs some structure because learning happens in such a way sometimes. However the learner may follow the lessons in any order they like. Is there a conflict between the TRADITIONALISTS and the ODL-lists? Interesting to explore, indeed.