Maybe I had loved him more?

Maybe I had loved him more than I had loved myself.

Maybe my understanding of love and companionship was different from his.

Maybe I had expected too much.

Maybe he had too much, or too little love to give.

Maybe he had thought I would be okay with all those girls running wild in the background.

Here's the thing: Him & His Nonsense were not okay, no matter which perspective it is seen from.

He may have tried to redeem himself during the counseling session, but the counselor reiterated the inappropriateness of his actions. Why did he think that what he did was harmless?

Maybe I am just a different breed of woman who does not embrace stupidity.

He had said that these are the things men do. It's very common and natural to have men gallivanting with other women and returning home to their wives. Well sir, a newsflash: this is how wives get STDs from their husbands: idiots who felt that they had the 'right', or thought that they had clearly differentiated the boundaries between 'paid worker', 'girlfriends', and 'wife'. Go ahead then, give yourself a pat on the back!

'Normal' would not even begin to define what he did. My father didn't do it, and I sure hope not my brothers too! There is a premium on loyalty where I come from, and coming from that premise, I hope that we would have made better choices.

Let me be the poster child of monogamy, and loyalty, from today onwards. 

Proviso: I am not a saint, there were those historical incidents when I had dated married men. I cannot give any excuse or justification for what I had done, except to say that those actions were abhorrent, deplorable and unjustified. If I could meet their wives I probably would: to apologise, and to let them slap or kick me around. However, meeting them could be worse. They may be better off emotionally in ignorance. I will keep in my heart forever who those men were, and their stories will only dance amongst the pages of my upcoming novels. At this juncture, who they were, is immaterial.