What I wanted, he wasn't able to give

My expectation of this marriage was the barest of minimum. He understood that I have children, and a career, and aspirations. I understood that he had spent his whole life as a bachelor. HENCE, we agreed to give each other space to pursue, and do our own things. To me that must exclude other women or girls on the side. To him, it meant that (well), I could take care of my children, and purse my career and dreams. 

Everything worked out pretty well because we decided to trust each other completely. He had said that he is friends with all his exes. I did not like that very much, but decided to be an adult in this relationship and agreed (that these 'friendships' could continue) ON THE UNDERSTANDING that they were friends, nothing more. Lo and behold some of his exes are still his emotional support systems AND they are all still very much lovey dovey. That is a crock of bullshit. I found out the worst way when I happened to crack his phone, and the picture is not very nice. One of them is still very single -- his best friend, he had said -- and may come waltzing in without any notice for all I know. One might be divorced some time soon, and that is another train wreck waiting to happen.

So I am just waiting for 5 August to have the divorce finalised. It might be hard for him (he had said), however I wholeheartedly believe that someone sweet will come to his rescue at some point. 

I will live my own life, and he can live his, pursuing whatever interests he wishes. No longer will I care about him or his quests. I am so out of the picture already! It is really not worthwhile playing this endless, fruitless (?) game.

Moral of the story/ Note to self: Always ask for the best for yourself. Never settle for any halfway arrangements or agree to any conditions, especially not from a man who sweet talks. There is a saying that "if you just want a sausage, you need not buy the whole cow". Crude, but the meaning is crystal clear. Heck, I do not even eat sausages. So what the hell am I doing here? It is thus best for me to walk away and reflect on this whole shenanigan with a clear mind (or NOT, as it might be even better to reflect on MY OWN plans), perhaps somewhere in Acheh or Maluku or Maldives?