There is no way to know for sure

Being a friend will be the easiest way to deal with this.

Being his wife, I had become too controlling and domineering.

Asserting my hold over him as MY husband,

Unreasonably so; I must have sounded like a silly ogre to Che Na & Aiza.

I prefer being his friend and be completely detached. 

I do not want to keep digging, or wondering.

I should have been the only one he loved, but alas I wasn't.

As disappointing as that may be, I have to move on.

Even until today I cannot be sure if he is still contacting her or others.

My heart feels that he still does, maybe not Che Na but Aiza.

But in fact I shouldn't care anymore, because we're getting a divorce.

We are going our separate ways.

Living our separate lives.

What is love anyways?

It is but a fleeting moment,

A brisk soft breeze in summer, passing through.

Had I loved him more... or less... than he had loved me?

I really don't know.

I can't know for sure,

Only God knows, 

and I do not want to go through his things anymore.

From the bottom of my heart,

I wish and I pray

That he will find someone who he will love and cherish wholeheartedly

For as long as he shall live

I know I have tried

But I wasn't good enough

So I will be on my way