Mutual Separation

Currently we agreed to 'separate' i.e. not to be too close because we want to preserve ourselves for marriage. Sounds really coy and cheesy and this social separation was probably practiced in the middle ages, but this is what we're doing. Kinda cute in a way, I think. However I do miss him, terribly... and he probably misses me too. So there.

What's next? I don't know really. We'll decide on a date, or not. The relationship will continue to flourish despite the distance, or wedge a further gap of separation. I really have no idea what will happen, but have decided that I will take care of myself regardless.

This is a beautiful life. There are at least 100 things to be thankful for (they probably ran to the thousands) and that is that really. My life is enriched and I am digging for silver feet (not a proper word of English, but purely my own creation) that will ACTUALLY take me away from this place. This place my office, not this place our family home.

Smitten

One of my good friends is getting married on 22 July. Her third attempt and hopefully this one who will love her to her dying breath. We do pray for her as she has been burnt badly in her previous marriages, yet she remained resilient and hopeful, always a bright cheerful personality.

How did they meet? Through a common friend. He is a widower whose wife passed away 9 years ago and she recently was divorced from her second husband. Her groom-to-be had seen her FB status postings and remarked to this common friend that she seemed interesting. And the rest is (almost) history (after they wed, that is).

Good for her. I do hope this will be The One. As for me, I am still waiting for The Proposal (huhuu..) that is coming soon and at the same time trying to sort out various personal stuff (in the eventuality that I do get married #gasp). In part it is probable that I may not be fully ready, yet when the time comes I will do my best #ipromise.

Best Effort

Marriage is built on ........???  (please fill in the blanks).

My answer would be: love, trust, faith (in the higher powers)

When I was much younger, the initial answer was LOVE (that's all).

As I grew a little bit older, I added TRUST.

Now after the divorce, I had added FAITH.

I think the order should now be swapped too: marriage should be built on FAITH first, TRUST is perhaps optional in some cases (or for some people), and LOVE can develop over time.

Some people are really very lucky to have figured this out much earlier on, in their younger years. And needless to say, they are still married.

On top of that the couples would need ........ ??? (please fill in the blanks again).

My answers (among other things): good communication, financial ability, emotional support, physical attraction, understanding, courage, perseverance, patience, forgiveness, gratitude (and this list goes on and on and on *shriek*)

How then do you make a marriage work?

This one has an easy answer (I think). You make a marriage work because you WANT TO. No one can make anyone stay or love the other if he/she doesn't want to anymore.

There's this person I know who is the kindest, most hardworking, responsible and loving guy I know and he is going through divorce. Who in their right mind divorces someone like that? His wife. I can't imagine why but my only speculation is: due to the long distance relationship she fell in love with someone else. This very thing happened to a very close family friend many years ago. Once I get a chance to interview this guy I would ask him primarily for the reason for divorce. (Because in my case the reason wasn't the real reason).