A Thing of Beauty is a Joy Forever

It is probably just my bad mood, because the monthly cycle is already starting & at work we are being asked for 3 exam papers per subject (to prevent leaks & from lecturers giving tips/ guides apparently), and in some cases the exam will not be due for MONTHS yet the papers are being demanded NOW.

In one of the whatsapp groups, the discussion centred around this beautiful (and equally smart) doctor lady (who is not even in the group)- she likes hiking (her friend says) and suddenly everybody is a hiker, jumping at the chance of going on hikes with Ms Doctor. Granted this was all done in jest & good fun, yet I felt a bit miffed because my invites for hikes will be responded with "not my thing" or "I will wait at the foothill with breakfast" and all that. See what hormones does to you- how unreasonable have I become?

Tonight I am going to update my CV and send it out to as many companies as possible. And if they ask me (why do you want to move to another company?), I will just answer: Because it is time. To Move On. To Face my Fears. To Dive Feet First.. at the risk of falling flat on my face.

Or I Could SOAR.

What if I fall, you say?

What if I soar?

What if I get another breakthrough?

What if I have become too tired? Lethargic? Apathetic?

What if I THRIVE?

Let's focus on the OPPORTUNITY mindset.

Being Somebody

A lot of things have happened in the past month or so.

This morning, for one, a friend (Junaidah Mustafa) passed away due to a swollen heart. She left behind her husband and 6 children the youngest is 9.

Last week we went for a Mock Interview & Career Talk session with our juniors at school, to prepare them for scholarship interviews.

Then there's the World Cup finals & my friends organised a big screen viewing. With lots of food. And great company, which was overall great.

Just now at 8pm a person forwarded to me a photo of someone from my past. Mr Ex's cousin- she became the guest speaker for this annual event for graduates seeking employment. And I checked out her credentials on trusted Mr Google. Great. She has made something for herself. Am trying to be happy for her and at the same time mourning a little the choices that I have made.

Whatever it is, my choices have led me here.

Here.

Today.

I am now someone at a crossroads. What do I do?

[Haven't I been asking that question for too long now?]

What are my career options?

I am pretty good in teaching.
However I have not written many papers that will merit me worthy of academia.

I am very good in drafting agreements (better than I teach I might say).
However I have left the legal field far too long.

I am still improving in writing.
Is it now time to take a shot?

Who do I want to be and How do I get there?

Let's do something about this & forget moping around.
It is not helping anybody & especially not YOU.

An Open Letter to the Lovely Ladies [a.k.a. My Past Catching Up with My Present]

Context: Friendship

Problem Statement: Whether individuals may select the friends they want to be with

Larger Context: Relevance of Alumni Groups

Currently I am now in a bit of a bind. I am the Secretary of an alumni group of a school where I/ we finished my SPM (IGCSE/ O-Levels equivalent, more or less). This group has decided to form a society registered with the RoS (Registrar of Societies), with an organisational structure & elected exco members, with the mandate to upkeep the wellbeing of members. In short, it's a social group (leaning towards the welfare of members).

For simplicity, let us just refer to the group as "AG".

In its third or fourth year of operations, the AG was taken over by the "Lovely Ladies" who (how do I put it) are successful financially and socially, to the exclusion of others who are not. Me for one, is not a Lovely Lady (and never will be). Also for simplicity, they will be referred to as LLs.

People who know me will know that I am friends with everybody. Literally. Anybody. [Except the LLs perhaps, who I am acquaintances with & whom they keep at arms length perhaps just because I am the AG's Secretary- which is just a post by the way].

One of our events carried out last year was a Ramadan gathering which brought many people together (close to 40 members perhaps)- and I had thought finally we can be united, but the LLs came and sat together at one table. Everybody else was scattered, with their own families. I had come late because I was from another event, and when I saw the LLs chatting happily together I felt discomfort right away. However at the same time  I saw many of my friends there and was really happy to have them around so we chatted and caught up. [Context: the LLs often see each other and go to various events together and have social do's in each others' houses SO did they HAVE to sit together this time to everyone else's exclusion?].

Long story short, after the Ramadan gathering other friends did pockets of their own gathering. Like the LLs who gather with those they're comfortable with. Lo and behold in the exco group last night one committee member remarked that we should not form our own clans & must support AG's events. [Irony: it is the LLs who usually shun/ do not get involved in AG's events, not even committee meetings anymore].

So my next course of action is to resign from the coveted Secretary's post & hand it over to someone who is more willing and able. The reasons to be cited are: personal life (managing life & children single-handedly); work stress due to volume of students & demands of the private sector; unsuitability of meeting attendance as I will be the only female available to attend (the LLs decide to go or not to go in a group); personal goals (to develop my career as a professional speaker); and perhaps finally because me being in the AG's exco is merely a titular thing (I do not actually do anything or have accomplished anything interesting or significant). However this last bit I will play down with legal language to balance my will to do something vs my actual incompetence. Haha.

Anyway in short that will probably be my course of action. Avoid conflict.

The LLs will continue to be successful. No doubt they fight their own battles and face their own set of challenges but outwardly they look good doing it & will be friends forever. Others need not apply but we get to watch their fabulousness. At least that's how I see it from where I stand/ from my perspective. One day maybe I will get to discuss these pointers/ questions with their President or Lifetime Members & lay it out on the table in the most objective way possible, but right now I am very comfortable for us to lead parallel lives.

Never will our paths intersect but for the past association of having gone to the same school. SO there. All the best to everybody. May we all live beautiful productive lives on our own respective, clearly delineated, parallel worlds.