Makcik

Nowadays I am pretty used to younger kids calling me Makcik or Aunty. Granted, I do look it. No matter how deep in denial I (still) am.

When Nos. 1, 2 and 3 were younger they participated in a taekwondo competition and I was by the sideline being the supporter/ taekwondo-mom (similar to soccer moms but a little more Asian). A little person came up to me and handed me a digital camera. His question I will remember for the rest of my life, due to the shock factor: "Makcik, boleh tolong ambilkan gambar?" (Aunty, could you please help take our photo?"). Internally I screamed like that Edvard Munch painting. Externally I must have given that child a scowl. He stepped back one step, with hand holding the digital camera still extended.

I took their photos, while my mind reasoned very logically: well, they are my children's friends. So I am a Makcik by association. My single friends would not have been called makcik, because they do not have toddlers or pre-schoolers or schoolchildren in tow. It is the polite thing for children to do, to call me Makcik. The alternative is to call me by name, which may sound cool but not in accordance with the Asian/local standards of behaviour.

During one of the Big Bad Wolves' Book Fair, a teenager had asked me: "Makcik, tolong pass-kan buku tu" (Aunty please pass me that book). I did not respond (no way it was directed to me, right?). When she asked again with more insistence, I turned around to look in case there was a Makcik behind me. There wasn't. I gave her a confused look (as if asking: why did you call me Makcik?) and half-threw the book to her. Such indignance at being called Makcik. 😓

Many many many years on, I have embraced my Makcik-ness. Now I play in the Senior/ Veteran/ Masters sports category. I move slower. I get irritated easily. I forget things. In a couple of years I will receive discounts on bus fares and transport, and more people will call me Makcik (and one day, Nenek/ Grandma). 😱😱

Cultural Similarity

A friend of mine is dating someone younger, of a different faith and race. To her, these are stumbling blocks that will be addressed when they cross that bridge. HOWEVER, since they had grown up in the same state of Klate they had A LOT in common. This, to her, would probably sustain the budding relationship for a couple of months (or probably years to come).

Come to think of it, with me it was probably a subconscious decision to marry someone of a similar culture, so that I do not have to explain (or debate) certain practices. Once I did get asked out by a "Mat Saleh" but decided to decline from Day 1 after having thought about the multiple permutations of this relationship (not) working out (I am weird that way).

Taken to the extreme, this preference/ inclination would create supremacist behaviour or worst, the decimation of other lives just because others are 'different'. The concentration camps during World War II and the more recent Christchurch attack comes to mind.

At a more moderate level, you will get people like me who gravitate towards dating or marrying someone with a similar cultural make-up.

Some others are more open. Mixed marriages are becoming more common. I will in fact encourage my children who would want explore intercultural marriage. In fact, I am the very result of that. My great great great great great grandfather was Chinese from mainland China. In between the lineage there were Arab, Thai and directly above me, Javanese descendants. Personally I embrace pluralism. I love it in fact. Marriage-wise however, I take the "comfort-zone" approach.