May I be Completely Honest?

No you may not.

Not if you still want to have friends in this world.

Not if you want to be seen as a reasonable person.

Not if you want to stay under the radar.

How do I tell someone that I do not like her attitude, when her family praises her every move & listens to her every word and she gets to do whatever that she wants to do, including forcing her best friend not to get married?

How do I tell some people that you are a farcical two-faced piece of something? I cannot possible bring myself to.

How do I tell someone at work that all her processes are B.S.?

So I become the nice person, for a limited time. I do blow up here and there, unfortunately at the wrong target. This I have to have a handle on. Keep it in & release the frustration by writing profusely, like there's no tomorrow.

By the way, I got the IELTS results today. My writing marks is the lowest. I need the practice!

Helicopter Parenting

I had heard this term being introduced during one of the education conferences a few years back.

The context of presentation was how Gen X parents (my generation) are overprotective and perhaps micro-managing their children, in order to keep them safe & have the best opportunity in life (at times scoring the highest possible marks & answering all questions excellently). Hence the teachers' challenge is when educating children belonging to these parents (topic: education management). I have since forgotten the specific items of discussion- it may have been related to collaborative teaching efforts of teachers & parents- but the term 'helicopter parent' lingered.

In the present day, this morning to be more specific, the helicopter parents were crowding their cars in front of a high school near where I live and traffic jam ensues. There are plenty of parking space/ drop off space across the road, but our concerned parents choose to wait in front of the school gate & watch their fully grown child walk into class, before driving away.

Forgive me while I rant:

• Certain parents, in my view, need as much education as their children in uniform, walking into school: in trusting their children (to walk into class & not divert elsewhere), in respecting other drivers (who have equally important destinations to reach); in utilising well-planned parking spaces (that the developers had the foresight to create, for the convenience of waiting parents & to ease traffic).
• Public transport in Malaysia has not developed much because of this attitude: that parents need to send their children to school every day, in an empty car. Car-pooling would be a better option, taking the yellow school bus even better, and (where there is access) taking the public buses or LRT or MRT is another option (in fact a number of children STILL do this!). The anticipated benefits are: reducing the carbon footprint, reducing overall traffic, saving the cost of petrol for individual households
• Children need to be taught to be independent. A little 'hardship', like crossing the street, will build character: in today's scenario I am referring to young adults who are fully grown & independent enough to manage high school life- I do hope that all parents teach their children basic life skills for everybody's sake. Case in point: https://www.thestar.com.my/tech/tech-news/2020/01/09/chinese-woman-seeks-domestic-help-for-university-student-daughter-who-never-washed-clothes-or-cooked-before. In fact, many of the Gen X parents have walked/ cycled/ taken public transport to school in their (our) younger days. We turned out pretty alright, didn't we?

In the meantime, I will persevere and brave morning traffic in the best attitude possible. [This is why I look forward to smooth traffic during school holidays 👍]

IELTS

As I am applying to enrol for PhD overseas, last Friday I sat for an IELTS exam. Because I am not a native speaker. 

This has been playing in my mind in the past couple of days, building up to the test date.

I have been using English for work and communications for the longest time. I do have some level of confidence that I will breeze through the exam, reasonably so. 

So, why this premium on being a native speaker?

Ever since I became more alert, I had noticed that as Malaysians we use a lot of 'manglish' to communicate- skipping conjunctions, adding fillers, using incorrect vocabulary, mashing up English & Malay (and other dialects) at liberty- among others. This is not English in the actual sense of its usage. When I started using 'proper English', I had noticed that the way I write and speak is actually very localised. Hence I do understand how we are less adept compared to native speakers, in the context of the mastery of the language.

How did the test go? Pretty well, in the circumstances. The speaking test was the most nerve-wracking and the topic about air travel is not the most interesting (but reasonable, I guess). I wished he had gone on to ask me about accommodation types or structures or sustainable buildings; or even about music for education, for healing, about lyrics and the lives of the artistes. We had started the session discussing about type of neighbourhood I live in and the type of music I listen to.

Anywhooo, tomorrow I will get the results, and I will then know my standing vis a vis native speakers [who has been assigned the benchmark score of 9/9].

Brexit & Megxit

Prime Minister Boris Johnson is probably glad that Meghan Markle came along and "creatively destructed" the royal lineage [I'm probably using the term "creative destruction" wrongly, but the focus should not be on me, yes?].

The spotlight is off UK's Prime Minister & Brexit for a while, until the dust settles (if ever) on Prince Harry & Meghan... [and Archie's :(  ] move moving across the pond/ world/ universe (depending on how you look at it).

Another point that I want to make is the importance to choose the right woman for a wife, and how a wife has control/ power over her husband (again, depending on how you look at it). A woman comes along and a man lets go of his title, the 'institution' he grew up in & its corresponding traditions (his  life basically, or at least a large part of his life) and the annual stipend that daddy pays. Why? In order to become "financially independent" and work real jobs they say (as what, pray tell, Hollywood actors, or Meghan: as acting coach perhaps?).

From the Shakespearean perspective this move is ultra romantic, almost like Romeo and Juliet (but they end up alive & well). Or this could be a Greek tragedy.

Personally when I was a young girl I was enamoured by the story of King Edward the VIII's abdication to marry an American divorcee Wallis Simpson. Love against all odds, it would appear to my young mind. How sweet it was for a royal to let go of his title and status for a woman's love.

Now at 45 I have some questions & as usual, some speculative answers:
- Was Wallis worth it? Perhaps. She is after all a worldly woman, with good breeding and most likely a great conversationalist.
- Did the King sometimes 'regret' his decision? Maybe not, if he had loved her thoroughly.
- Did Wallis regret her decision? Perhaps not socially, being a socialite herself. On a personal basis, only she & her husband would know the depth & quality of their relationship
- Did they have a good marriage? Perhaps they did, they stayed married till the end of their lives. Wallis did not remarry after Edward's passing either.

Besides, the could-haves and should-haves would not have been useful (in their relationship) once the bridges are burned. They probably would have focused on putting their best foot forward & making the best lives they could, together. Anecdotes about the couple that appear online indicated a reasonably happy existence (after the abdication/ marriage), with lots of traveling & being entertained by friends all over the world.

Back to Harry & Meghan, as published in BBC Online on 13 January 2020, the Queen's statement is reproduced below (the bold emphasis is mine):

The Queen has issued a statement following talks held between senior members of the Royal Family on Monday. The so-called Sandringham summit was called to discuss a new role for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.

Here is her statement in full:

"Today my family had very constructive discussions on the future of my grandson and his family.

"My family and I are entirely supportive of Harry and Meghan's desire to create a new life as a young family. Although we would have preferred them to remain full-time working members of the Royal Family, we respect and understand their wish to live a more independent life as a family while remaining a valued part of my family.

"Harry and Meghan have made clear that they do not want to be reliant on public funds in their new lives.

"It has therefore been agreed that there will be a period of transition in which the Sussexes will spend time in Canada and the UK.

"These are complex matters for my family to resolve, and there is some more work to be done, but I have asked for final decisions to be reached in the coming days."

SOURCE: https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-51099389

Basically Harry's Nan is saying that being a royal is a full time work as much as any job [undertone: so, what's this business of getting full time work, Harry?]

Her Majesty the Queen must be heartbroken, I can only imagine. After both of them promised that they will return to royal duties after their far away Christmas & New Year holidays. Whether they would eventually broke away & isolate themselves in Canada, remains to be seen.

As for Meghan, my view of her initially was: this is a woman who proves to the world that anything is possible: a divorcee who married the 6th in line to the Crown. She has supported causes that I had not anticipated (like the Grenfell charity cookbook) that showed her human side, intelligence and perhaps 'freshness'. However there are nagging issues that keeps cropping  up: her relationship with her father & step-siblings, her aides who resigned one after the other, her extravagance and the need to shine (after being told in very specific terms that royals do not respond to comments or criticisms on media), her registration of Sussex Royal trademark internationally [so you leave the institution, yet want to milk its trademark?]. Overall seems a bit sneaky.

HOWEVER, since I do not know her or Prince Harry I should not judge. There could be a myriad of issues and events that happened that we would not have any wind of, and we are none the wiser.

As a result, my perspective of Kate Middleton has inflated significantly- how graceful she is under intense pressure & public scrutiny- that Meghan almost cracked under [and SHE's the Hollywood actress, you know what I mean?]

The Post

* A work of Fiction *

No one anticipated the uproar when the announcement was made.

The restructuring of 2020. Announced during the maiden staff meeting of the year.

2 Heads of Departments are vacating office. One announcement received an applause, short of a standing ovation. One appeared to have been unanticipated. A collective shock-gasp.

An expression of interest are being invited, for any interested (and qualified) party to fill in the void.

What's next? A culture of "Organisational Professionalism", they had announced, will be implemented. The examples, scope, definition, supporting research were presented. Don't worry lah, we won't ask questions. Not like we can change or reverse any policies by asking questions.

Things are looking up. 2020 may be our best year yet!

Hello New Year!

Today is the second day of 2020.

Seems pretty normal & usual.

I took the day off to relax at home, avoid traffic & also to clear off my 2019  excess leave dates.

Off for lunch with No 2 & No 3, and later more spring cleaning to be continued.