Everything (and Everyone) else is immaterial

When a marriage happens, the focus should be on the partner/ person you chose to marry. 

I made this mistake by not focusing on him more. He had expected some things, and I could not deliver.

He made the mistake of focusing on the other girls. I had felt it and asked multiple times, and was responded to in complete and utter denial.

Now that all these stories have been uncovered, he had admitted fault and asked for forgiveness. Forgiveness will come eventually, with time and eventual healing, but I will never forget all that has happened. They remind me why I should never go back. On my part, I have decided what I wanted to do. I was not important to him during marriage, and never will be. He won't change because the girls are STILL on speed dial & freely contacting him. So, why do I want to immerse myself again in pain? I am not a masochist. Not my thing.

FB has finally caught up with me after 2 weeks. Now my feeds are filled with strong women quotes. Thanks for the analytics but you guys are a little bit slow. The various pages referred to me had said that when marriage happens, you cut off all the sides & focus on your wife/ husband. Fair point. Most, if not all people will expect that. However to him, it wasn't wrong for him to contact those girls because they are his friends (do not get me started on his definition of "friendship"!!!). I say it is wrong because he was/ is unfocused, he does not feel comfortable to declare our marriage (not then, not now, not ever), and there was emotional entanglement (and more, especially with Che Na & Aiza).. "Messy" doesn't even begin to describe the situation, but to him I was overreacting and being unreasonable because "nothing is going on" (his words, not mine). 

Well the nothing-is-going-on-ness is shuttered now & I do not want to entertain anymore thoughts of "did he/ did he not; what is he doing; who is he contacting; does he love me; is he being loyal; what should I do; why do I feel this way" because YOU, SIR will be gone from my life pretty soon!

From this day on, I choose beauty over pain.

I choose self-empowerment over cheating.

I choose strength above and beyond confusion.

I CHOOSE ME ❤👸