Nicknames' Evolution

One of our school friends was called "Zack" in our pre-adolescent years. Throughout school he was chubby hence in some quarters he was known as "Zack Buncit" (or Zack with a paunch"). As we grew old(er), he had worked out & looks really good. He is now known as "Zack Smart" (or Zack the Dashing One").

Another friend has a given name of "Sazali". Since there were 2 Sazalis in our batch that year, one ended up being called "Anakku" (My Son); inspired by the late P. Ramlee's movie "Anakku Sazali" (My Son Sazali).

A senior has the lovely name of Yusra- folks called him "Kkuro" (East Coast slang for "Tortoise"). Not that he moved slow or anything. Just because it sounded similar.

One of my classmates & also class monitor during Form 5 is a wise-looking soft-spoken well-behaved guy Zaharuddin. We call him "Ayah" (Father/ Daddy) as it felt like we were taken care of by a father figure.

Endearing names for dorm members were also used: such as Along, Achik, Angah, Usu. These are typically used by Malay families to denote the children's order of birth: along (firstborn), angah (number 2), achik (the middle child either number 3, 4, or 5), Usu (the youngest).

Girls tend to be kinder with our nicknames to the other: most times we just truncate our long(er) names. Zety becomes Z, Fatihah becomes T, Junnaina becomes Junn.. and so on.

Apparently this practice is still going on in schools & colleges of Malaysia as we speak.

My eldest son is called "Ujang" at college. He doesn't know why- most likely because during his year there were many Afiqs enrolled for the course and they decided to call him Ujang for irony. Ujang in Negeri Sembilan dialect is a generic reference when calling a male in the family/ community, akin to "Son/ Bro/ Boy" in a way. It is derived from the word "Bujang" meaning single/ unmarried.

When I was a Kid

Chee Ming Boey is the author of the series "When I was a Kid".

So far he has published 4 visual books/ comics & essentially these documented his childhood in JB (Johor Bahru, a city in the southern state of Johor).

As with any self-absorbed blog entry, I would claim that the author and I had a similar parental origin/cultural experience: his mother is from Kelantan (an east coast state) and he grew up in Johor. In a way some of his stories about JB and the trips to Kelantan rang very close to home.

Boey presented a visual and comical take about his childhood- at time mischevious, at time completely funny & at time nostalgic. The main character remains himself & his mother; and in volumes 2, 3 and 4 he developed the arc for other characters i.e.his dad, younger sister & po-po (grandma).

One of the points I gather is that his parents were supportive of his choice to be in "the arts". Which kinda remind me of number 4- she spends a few minutes a day drawing comics & characters based on the shows she watched/ played online: mainly Space Jungle & Animal Jam, and a mixture of other shows/ books/ dreams or nightmares.

Parents now are more open about career choices- their children does not necessarily have to be one of the Big 5: Doctor Lawyer Accountant Engineer Architect. They can be whatever they want to be: a gamer? a youtuber? a designer? a chef? a homemaker? a coach? a writer? an artist?

The late Anthony Bordain (in a video excerpt) once said something along these lines: "I told my parents I wanted to be a chef. At that time being a chef was akin to telling your parents you want to be an arsonist".. and he added that now being a chef is easier for parents to accept compared to during his time.

My eldest once wanted to be a chef, but when he saw the chef's work (during a hotel buffet service) he changed his mind. He is now doing digital animation & completing his studies pretty soon.

Well the point I want to make is this: a child can be whatever he/ she wants to be. We parents may guide them & eventually finance them. Overall it is hoped that they will find their passion and be involved in something joyful while earning a living.

Head On

Marriage.

Is it for everybody?

What about marriage to someone's husband?

May not be for everybody too, but may work for some.

One of my good friends will be marrying someone's husband pretty soon, and her reasons were these:
- she doesn't need to have him around the house ALL the time
- she is financially able & do not need high maintenance
- it is nice to have someone to talk to & share her problems (and hug on some nights)
- she is able to respect the rights of the first wife & coordinate with her their turns (fyi- the first wife  has not found out yet about them)

Another conversation with a wise friend revealed this (about relationship in general, not necessarily about marriage or sharing specifically):
- every relationship needs work, it is not for just the fun/ happy bits but for the long haul
- know what you want & don't play games (because it is tiring)
- be comfortable in your own skin & take life as it is.

Putting these 2 comments together (and my own limited experience with romantic relationships), I can probably deduce (for myself) that I need to be my own person. The person who loves me will remain the person who loves me. He will not define me. I have to pave my own path & the person has to be comfortable in my light (and me in his)... and incidentally this is why I love S to bits (and for the record, he is single).

[Somehow all 3 points are unrelated- haha].

A14

This was my class during A-Levels.

We were Batch A-Level 11, PPP/ITM Shah Alam (now known as INTEC).

There were around 17 classes altogether (if memory serves me right) and we were grouped based on our specialisation: mainly the Science classes were A1 to A8 (or 9); while the rest were Arts classes.

Our class was the law-industrial relations-tourism stream & our 3 subjects were economics, law and a choice between Maths & Stats OR English Literature. We had a number of teachers with various personalities and one of the more memorable ones to us was Mrs Wong, who taught us economics (in the photo she is seated in the middle of the front row).

This was a class primarily populated with girls & only 4 boys. One of us Zaiful (last row, third from left) passed on recently. It took some of us by surprise: as with life/ youth, you think (mistakenly) that you will always have each other forever & never did visit or insist to meet up. After his passing we agreed to meet more often & not wait for another passing for a get together.

Yesterday some of us went to Sab's house for makan & chit chat. Wow that was good. Consider it as a start. Lots of great news & lots of great ideas too. Never an idle moment. We were very close (breakfast in college used to be a packet of nasi lemak from the cafe & 1 spoon, shared by 4-5 people) & still are (but we ate off our own plates this time, haha). With great friends you kinda just pick up where you left off- no questions asked.

Incidentally our first organised reunion was the reason of my earlier blog entries:
https://maturitystreak.blogspot.com/2005/06/intro.html (numero uno)
https://maturitystreak.blogspot.com/2005/06/thursday-30-june-2005.html (entry #2)

Particularly thanks to Ili, who always had witty remarks and funny things to say- she inspired me to put my thoughts together & write it down.

Decathlon Pants

Throughout life I have bought quite a number of track/ sports pants. In the last 2 years or so I had started buying some from Decathlon the sports store.

The relationship started when my friends & I wanted to hike up Kinabalu & wanted reasonably priced supplies, as we were not seasoned hikers that need high end items costing a bomb & that we would not likely use often. Decathlon had a great range of products & easy on the pocket so we were quite pleased with ourselves (maybe one day I can do a feature article- once I learn his to do it- but let's go back to the pants shall we).

As we know track pants have this drawstring type attachment to tighten the pants around your waist, yes?

Other pants' drawstring generally lose their tips inside the waistbands & it becomes a struggle to use a pin to relocate or reinsert it. Most times I just remove the drawstring altogether and have faith in the pant's waistband completely (that it is strong enough not to give way & cause my pants to drop in public- worst case scenario).

These Decathlon pants- so far I have bought 2 brands: Kalenji & Domyos- are completely the bomb! No losing the drawstrings in the waistbands anymore. My first one I bought 2 years ago & the drawstring is still intact. So happy am I with these comfortable good looking drawstring intact pants.

yay me & yay Decathlon.

Thank YOU for understanding my drawstring predicament.

Polygamy

One of my close friends will be marrying another woman's husband on 18 October. Pretty Soon.

Will she be able to handle it?
"It" being the whole package of being wife #2.
She says that she has thought this through.
I know for a fact that she has.

Will she be happy?
I do hope so.

He will not have much time for her.
(She says it's okay because she will feel suffocated if the man/ husband is always at home).

She will not be able to post any photos of her with him.
She will be restricted in friendships/ social events if he doesn't approve.
She may not be able to talk about him openly in public forum.
Her children has a father, or would they?
Will he admit his association with her/ them when push comes to shove?
What if a few weeks/ months/ years down the road someone single and eligible proposes?
What is she gets pregnant?
What if his other wife finds out?
What if he is given an ultimatum?
Does she love him that much to go through all this?
(She says that she is ready for the full package & the long haul).

As for me, I can only watch all this happen [partially screaming inside].

However at the end of the day this is her life and she has decided.
They will weather the storm together if the promise has been made... and my honest hope is that he will have the strength and backbone to do things right by both his wives and their children.

As for me, this will not be a life I choose.

I was on the receiving end of infidelity and Mr. Ex had plans to marry her (for real).

What I felt was beyond description. I do not wish it on another woman (even the ones I hate for life), and I sure won't want to be the cause of that pain.

So, to my friend- I do wish her the best [and partially hope that they'll call it off].