Appropriate Behaviour

Living in this social media age is not easy.

You send a message, it gets screen captured & within seconds the message appears in other groups.

You post a status or entry that is not quite rightly worded, and you receive a shitload of hate.

Everyone is so judgmental these days, it would appear.

And commenting about someone is so easy to do, just type and send away.

Personally, being positive is also not easy, because there seems to be a lot of hate/ animosity in some comments. There is always something about you that someone somewhere does not like.. unless of course you're Keanu Reeves (whom everybody likes, online or offline).

So one way to avoid it all is to just tune off. I may uninstall FB from my phone because I just cannot be bothered. I was silent for many years before this. I will probably delete or hide my past posts and focus on my studies. There is so much to do and learn from out there, and not necessarily from the social media cesspool. I hope my children will be protected from harm and exercise good judgement when handling 'social media' issues.

Looks

There is a suggestion by our management that lecturers do a Lecture Capture during our lessons.

This way we will be able to cater to online audiences and in-class audiences.

For online audience members, the camera follows us everywhere and captures what is spoken into the microphone. For in-class audience, the speakers in the classroom will broadcast questions asked by online students. Overall the intention is to create a seamless and inclusive classroom experience.

My concern = I do not want to be captured on video doing my lecture & the lessons recorded and stored for posterity.

Will PDPA apply? Can lecturers or students exercise their right NOT to be lecture captured, OR is there a no-recording option? These I will discuss in my thesis.

Besides, in the bigger scheme of things, I am acutely aware how social media is attuned to one's looks. And I do not want to be a part of the 'assessed group' for my looks or dressing or way of speaking.

So, no thanks. I will not participate in hybrid teaching if it involves my image being captured.

[and we will cross the bridge when we get there, because so far all my classes are online 😂]

Fortnightly PKP | MCO

In Malaysia since March 2020 the government has been announcing a fortnightly extension on the MCO (Movement Control Order) and now a year has passed.

I exaggerate

In April 2021, the number of infections are climbing.

Many schools are back to online lessons.

Many offices are still telling their staff to work from home.

Interstate travels are not allowed except for business, to see a long-distance spouse & for emergencies (e.g. deaths/ illness) > the last one has been restricted because many have used this excuse to travel interstate for the death of a long lost family member. Now we have to produce the documents to prove our relationship with the deceased/ the person we're visiting.

Malaysians are still staying indoors. Occasionally we go out with very careful precautions. Sometimes we go for excursions but avoided large crowds. 

When will this end? I do not know myself. 

Adulting

This year I turn 47 and this is a very adult age.

However inside, I still feel really inadequate and wish that sometimes I do not need to have too many responsibilities.

It would be good to be able to retire in a small hut on an island far away from people (in a self-sustaining way).. and I am totally kidding because I will be out of my mind by the second month (if not the third week). Even then, the luxury of being able to go anywhere and stay for as long as I like is a dream, even 'angan-angan" (wishful thinking) if I want to call it that. Because by the time I retire the money to be withdrawn from my provident fund will be just enough to survive in my old age (so bye2 travel) > well I can probably go to Hajj once and thereafter stay in Malaysia to my dying day

UNLESS I can reinvent myself, or find an alternative income source, or hit a jackpot.. I will remain a miserly and a miserable retiree (the word "old" could not come out).

There is still time, yet I live now in my bonus round. My late father died at 46 (my age at this very moment) and I do wonder sometimes how many months/ days/ hours I have left.

However, since I am an adult, these things go to the back of my mind.. something to ponder upon before I sleep (or not). Some days I am busy, some days not so.. but I do neglect my children a lot.. I use the phone too much.

I do pray for good health. Mainly I monitor my food intake, although I could do with more exercise!

I hope my children will forgive me for the botched job I did as a mother

I hope Allah will forgive me too, for all my wrongs and weaknesses and multiple shortcomings, mistakes, faults, stubbornness *and this list goes on  

Surrogacy | Abandonment

This piece of news appeared in my news feed yesterday, basically about an actress from China who allegedly have abandoned her 2 children born by surrogates. Her husband is currently with the children in the US while the actress has returned to China

Links: 

https://www.scmp.com/news/people-culture/china-personalities/article/3118364/chinese-actress-zheng-shuangs-surrogacy

https://edition.cnn.com/2021/01/22/china/china-celebrity-surrogacy-scandal-dst-intl-hnk/index.html#:~:text=Actress%20Zheng%20Shuang%20has%20been,babies%20in%20the%20United%20States.&text=A%20Chinese%20media%20outlet%20subsequently,January%202020%20in%20the%20US.

Incidentally, the South China Morning Post has become one on my favourite news portal. Their articles appear to be well-researched, are written well in eloquent English, with intelligent content, and at just the right length (not too long that we lost the plot, nor too short that we need to read other articles to fill in the gaps).

There could be many reasons why people may opt for surrogacy. Kim Kardashian for one, had a challenging first pregnancy that she asked someone else carry her baby, and she remained a doting mother to her children, or so it appears on social media.

If surrogacy is an option and allowed by my religion, would I do it? Maybe not. I am already a bad mom (and I carried all 5 to full term). I cannot imagine being detached from a child who is being carried and will be born to me. I would feel so aloof and uncaring (I think/ speculate).

In the future it is perhaps best not to have children because everyone will be too busy or self-centred/ spoilt or live too much in the virtual world to (be able to) care for another human being. My prediction is that people will gravitate towards pets who they do not have to put through school/ university, and pets give companionship without judgement. This trend is already happening now as we speak.

And as the world becomes more uncertain, with conflict in some areas, with income disparity and poverty in others, it is perhaps best for each person to take care of himself and not others. Spouse, maybe, because we're talking about an independent adult but children will be an option in many families soon (if not already).

Animal Instincts?

 

This site was supposed to play a video & I should write a blog about it. However I am not sure what happened and I cannot open the video anymore. It therefore remain a mystery: what had I wanted to say, I do not know. Probably it relates to an animal taking care of the other, and that behaviour is miles better than destructive human behaviour. Moral of the story: Jangan Bertangguh

In-laws and Out-laws

One of the early advice that mom gave after I got married was this: Don't live with your in-laws

My children are unmarried & I tell them don't rush into marriage expecting bliss, and I have given them the same advice: NEVER live with your in-laws.

For my male children I would leave it to them to decide (if they want to live with their in-laws), since men are mostly not bothered with these things, but for my girls I hope they don't.

Why? 2 women in the same house who love the same men = a recipe for disaster #donemakingmypoint

Nasi Goreng

Recipe for Egg Fried Rice

Pound some shallots, garlic & birds' eye chilli ("cili padi")

Heat up oil & cook the above

Add egg & mix well

Add cooked rice and mix well

Add salt & flavouring (if you have leftover sambal or rendang paste, add it to the mix)

... and voila your egg fry rice is ready (say this out loud, using Uncle Roger's accent)

Confessions

In Facebook one of our alumni member had created a confessions page.

This confessions page created a bit of a buzz (now the members number around 10,000) and became a space to reminisce past memories while we were in school.

Yesterday a junior (24 years old) posted a confession about her starting to work & currently doing her Masters & yet to be married; she sought advice from her seniors (context: this alumni group has members from 18 to 61/ 62 years); attached with a full body photo of her in a red baju kurung moden. 

The result = an avalanche of comments; and multiple related entries started popping up.

In less than 24 hours she received 5.2k comments.

In less than 24 hours too, she had deleted/ hidden her post.

[Update: the post has re-appeared, now it has 6.1k comments]

My assessment?

I was not sure of her intention (or what was she thinking) when she posted that message.

It was not related to a confession about an event that happened in school.

She came across unfortunately as needy and somehow connecting her happiness with marriage (with the right man).

I guess to each her own. I hope she emerges mentally stable & with her confidence intact. #lifeslikethat

The Journey of 70,000 words begins with 4000+

Glad to announce to myself that I have enrolled for a Phd in Management & Law.

Basically I will be looking at Malaysian SMEs digital transformation and the checklist that companies need to cover the legal aspects.

The proposal was about 3000+ words and it took me between 2 weeks to 1 month to complete (oh boy!) and now I am slowly developing/ extending the content. Right now at 4000+ words, not fast enough to my liking & on some days I should crack a mental whip to get going!!!!

Bismillah. Let us carry on and complete this journey.