Monday, February 26, 2024

It was not for me

There was a scene in Love Actually where Emma Thompson, playing the character of Alan Rickman's long-time wife, found a box of jewelry (containing a necklace or bracelet, I don't quite remember) in her husband's pocket. She got really excited, thinking that that would be her Christmas gift, and the rest of her day was a joy.

When she got a CD/ VHS boxset for Christmas (again, I don't remember details well), she knew that he had someone else for whom the gift was bought. Tearing up, she got up and left to the kitchen to prepare their Christmas dinner. I watched it many years ago & re-watched it post-divorce. It was a sad scene to begin with, but hits differently the second time/ post-divorce.

Despite the bummer that was, the character which she played eventually recovered and found herself.

Such is life. I went through that. The engagement ring he bought her was more expensive. Higher priced than any ring he had ever given me. From the very action I understood my worth, and mustered the courage to walk away. 

Some may argue that I was too extreme. Maybe I was, but I cannot imagine negotiating these sort of turns and wonder the rest of my life: who am I to him? Almost 16 years of my life, bore and took care of 5 of his children, and I am worth less than an engagement ring. That cuts deep my brother. You cannot do that to me. Not once. Not EVER. 


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