Social Media

Have we created a monster in social media?

To me, social media is the platform to say hi to friends, catch up on news and watch interesting videos... but admittedly sometimes I spend too much time there ("there" being whatsapp, google, youtube and facebook 😱). There has to be a point of time when I stop. And focus on life. 

What will happen to my children? Again, there has to be a time when we speak to the person physically present around us instead of connecting to others who are far apart & basically have their own lives?

One possibility is to start with the girls. Talk to them, bring them on walks, see the skies and catch (and release) some insects- why not?

An Honest Politician

Is the term an "honest politican" an oxymoron? 

I have just watched a Korean movie titled Honest Candidate (yes we are on a K-wave right now): it is about a political candidate who was 'cursed' | blessed with the inability to tell a lie. Not a new concept, as this plot has been seen before in numerous other movies... but as always with K-drama their 'spin' is quite interesting and provided depth to the characters and storyline.

I am sure there are bad K-dramas and K-movies, but perhaps not as many as bad Malay ones (I digress).

Back to the point: Is it humanly possible for politicians to be honest? Through my rose-coloured glasses I continue to believe in the good inherently present in every living being. We are pure to begin with, but put in difficult situations that cause us to be uncharacteristically not ourselves.

We would probably love to have more honest politicians, who care for the country more than themselves and especially more than the fortunes it has to offer.

The Pareto Rule

This rule originated from economics i.e.80% of wealth is owned by 20% of the population. 

In education/ teaching, this is probably true too. 80% of energy is spent on the 20% who misses things, who always need help, who needs constant support (more than everybody else).. and we never get the thanks after all that.. not that we need or want it.. for certain sort of students you just want to help & never see them again.

20% effort is spent on those who are independent, who can flourish with the littlest of guidance.. and are thankful despite them being good & capable students to begin with.

The challenge is always in the bottom 20%: to keep them engaged & try to push them beyond the hurdle. Some do graduate and become successful in their own right. Good for them to have found a place to flourish.

Regardless of the effort I put, there is always hope and faith that these children can and will do better. Failing which, there's always this blog to vent.

Sadaqah

... is the contribution that one makes, without expecting any repayments or returns... loosely termed as "donations" in English, sadaqah covers a wider scope in its practice. It can be a smile that you gave to make someone's day, some kind words that perk someone's spirits, a positive attitude that inspires others, encouragement for someone to keep going, the teaching of knowledge, clearing someone's path, doing a good deed, helping someone in need, ...and it may include monetary contributions/ donations for a good cause.

My hypothesis is: we give because of the good that returns to us. Equally, this may not be in financial terms: it could be better health, more rizq (earnings/ income/ capability to render more help to others), the good feelings (that you are making a difference to someone somewhere), paying it forward, our paths being cleared and made smooth (literally and figuratively), and the multiple rewards that may be possible in the Hereafter.

Forgive me if this post is sounding like a sermon, however it is a simple concept: of giving and receiving.

Giving out of the goodness of our hearts and expecting nothing in return, may ironically bring you good returns (even in situations when one does not expect it). There are many wonderful souls out there who have given out 'sadaqah' in their own ways, and our press is always impressed & normally cover the financial contributions, such as:

Mackenzie Bezos' $1.6billion donation: https://www.foxbusiness.com/lifestyle/mackenzie-bezos-donates-1-6-billion-to-charity

Chuck Feeney the billionaire who gave away $9billion: https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-northern-ireland-54300268

Locally we have Ustaz Ebit Lew who opened ELEWSMART chains that offered rock bottom prices to provide groceries for the needy: https://www.freemalaysiatoday.com/category/bahasa/2020/06/24/10-cawangan-pasar-raya-ebit-lew-bakal-buka-peluang-pekerjaan-bantu-golongan-memerlukan/

To conclude, keep on giving and may you receive goodness in any way shape or form while you keep at it 💕

[Backstory: I initially wanted to skew this entry to one of a skeptic (i.e. people give for selfish reasons), but the materials brought me to a different direction]

Vagabond

I rarely watch Korean series, but hubby was watching this one and I watched along with him.

What I have noticed with their movies, is good scriptwriting (so detailed & accurate!) and new/ creative storylines. 

Normally the series do not attract my attention, because of their addictive nature (and I do not really have the time).

So, Vagabond was watched in piecemeal and today we watched the last episode (E16).

One dream of mine is to write scripts as well as the Korean drama & movie ones. Why not

If at first you succeed, try something harder

Writing is one thing I have yet to excel in. Hence I am writing one entry every day until 31 August 2021, to hone that skill and hopefully find a niche that I can continue to polish until it shines.

At the same time, I have dropped a couple of things from my belt: such as cooking. I will not quit my day job for that. I will cook for the children's meals and that's about it really. 

Cream

Cream rises to the top, hence this is a common/ categorical reference for selected students who joined the boarding schools in the country (I'm talking about Malaysia here).

When I was younger I had always wanted to join such schools, not to be labeled as cream, but rather I wanted to be independent (I had read a lot of Enid Blyton's Mallory Towers and the like) and live far from the family. I got my wish and was sent more than 600km away from home. What I found was this: even the cream of the cream had their own issues. They (We) are kids too. Growing up with very high expectations can be inspirational in some cases and problematic in some others.

Another observation that I made is this: (contextually because I do 'career discernment' projects with high school students) where parental influence is strong in the student's life, he may be channeled to a path which he may not necessarily like or enjoy, but one which he can attempt and succeed at... because hypothetically with 11A1s, you can do anything (right?). I think this was the situation with one of my younger brothers. He was asked to do medicine, when in his heart I think he would have enjoyed IT more.

All these unfinished businesses will materialise many years down the road.

I have a friend from middle school who did IT undergraduate & masters, only to quit after a few years of teaching IT at a university to become a lorry driver. He had said he had always wanted to do it: he found the machines fascinating, but what would his parents say? A few years ago he left his teaching job, took his drivers' license, became a lorry driver with one of the oil&gas companies & only told his parents 2 years later. They did not speak to him for another 2 years, but he enjoyed EVERY SINGLE DAY of work.

Perhaps my point is we should rethink how we view our children and their 'achievements'. If the child does not qualify for boarding school, so be it. If the child is not a concert pianist or chess master or genius mathematician by 12, so be it. If he is not sporty enough, of creative enough, or accomplished enough in speaking, so be it. Keep on guiding them. Love them and continuously support them.

When I taught in the Foundation School many years back, I had taught the module called 'Personal Development' where one topic was related to "Multiple Intelligences". I was inspired by Gardner's concept that each one of us is smart in our own way. In my words: we have a place where be belong and loved being in. And finally, I think I have found mine 💖

Among Us

There is a new game which the girls are playing now, with their papa.. it's called "Among Us". It takes place in a facility whereby various characters in safety suits/ astronaut suits (in all probability, they could be in space).

When the bell rings everybody will start doing their respective tasks, except one (traitor). This person's task is to murder the others. And once a body is found, all members in the team will vote: on who they think is the killer. In other words the objective of the game is to find the traitor (among us). 

In Malay we use the phrase "gunting dalam lipatan". Directly translated it means "a pair of scissors in the folds (of cloth)". Within the fold of cloths which one thinks is harmless, lies a sharp object >> this phrase refers to the presence of an enemy in our midst. [Incidentally this may be used to describe the political situation in the country, but let's not go there].

So here the girls were... communicating in game & in person, trying to guess the traitor, while doing their assigned tasks & at the risk of getting killed by a rogue player, at any time. The players do not get any weapons, so they're unable to defend themselves from the traitor. While playing they are fully engrossed and participative; I wish all my classes were like this! (Can it be? Probably).

I suppose the 'thrill' is in guessing who the traitor is. There is a lot of communication (guesses) and justifications given. The traitor instigates or sets someone up (whom he will not kill) and tries to throw everyone off his scent by pretending to be busy with tasks.. or by making a remark about being scared/ concerned/ frazzled.

After 3 or 4 unsuccessful votes the traitor will be revealed as the "winner". So engrossed are they with this game, this is probably the one game that they agree to play together without squabbling.

Artistic Flair

There are students whom you remember and Kanat is one of them. I am pleased to see his FB update tonight about his art work: https://www.boredpanda.com/leaf-cutout-art-kanat-nurtazin/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

In high school I had done leather carving in art class. Really cannot imagine carving on leaves, which are so much more delicate. Such patience and perseverance. And knowing him, he is capable. 

In University he was a very good student. Can't remember his graduating grade, but he did very well in my classes. One of the more memorable students. Like Hussam from Oman, and Omar from Sudan, and Wafa from Bahrain, and Jannah and Ziera and Carrie and Maurice and Yee Kwan from Malaysia.. and many others, too many to name, all cherished in my memories.

Wherever you are my students, follow your dreams and may they lead you to somewhere fantastic!

Listen

Stop talking too much. Listen. Listen. Listen. Let the guy speak.

Career Path

We now have a new boss, who is (I consider) a godsend.

After the earlier experience (of stress and torture), we are all relaxed and happy and compliant.

We have always been compliant to a fault anyways- not the habit of academics to "revolt", it is just not in our nature.

Yesterday we had a short discussion where I was told about: What do you want to do next?

Then he had mentioned about the possible pathways for academics: well he went a bit fast but I got the basic idea. When I got home I googled the pathways and found that the University of York has shared their academic pathways online (God Bless YOU!). How it had helped me, because it had clear terms and conditions.. i.e. these are the hoops that you need to jump to be "A", "B" or "C".

Their pathways are mainly branching into 3: "Research and Scholarship"; "Teaching" and "Leadership/ Administrative". I did my Career Discernment Tests again and plotted my strengths. At this moment, I appear to best suited (and I do feel it in my guts too) to the "Teaching" pathway. This has been something which I have always loved to do, especially with the recent development of ODL which I have been trying to push forward since 2013 at least.. and that I can finally use and adopt, thanks to the pandemic.. THIS was my silver lining. 

Leadership I had done from 2005-2013, so I have the attitude of "been there done that" for now. Specifically from 2005-2008 I had been involved in a lot of student activities, that had connected me to wonderful people in MDEC especially and related organisations.

So the next part that is my "core", I will teach. There is a part about "teaching award" that I do not really feel I want to go for, but I might as well give that a shot. Accolades are not really my thing & I'd rather just be left alone to teach my classes, but there may be something done right and worth a mention perhaps? And maybe I should approach it from the perspective of "benefit to others".

Here's to the next part of my life xoxo

Malaysia's National Fruit?

Is there such a thing? Who chooses it?

The national flower was selected by the First Prime Minister, so that is a valid selection.

Wikipedia says "rambutan" while says.com says "papaya". Who decided on that and when?

I would probably go with "durian" or "rambutan".. but then again no country claims exclusive rights over tropical fruits. Surely these fruits exist in other countries as well, unless you refer to the unique durian variants that Malaysians have genetically modified 👻

In case I forget...

My daughter's friend's father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's last year. He started to forget things, like appointments, and what he had said to the children, and certain basic errands like getting groceries.

It is sad for the child to be facing this situation, and eventually his father may forget about the people whom he love. I do not know much about Alzheimer's disease and how it affects the individual (except that he becomes forgetful); neither do I know about the long term effects (e.g. does it affect other bodily functions? or how does the person feel when he had forgotten everything (or most things)?) but my great grandmother was nyanyuk- this was probably the closest encounter that I may have had with this condition. 

I remembered during my school holiday visits she would greet me and we would have a long conversation about where I studied, how school was, my friends, my teachers, my mom dad and siblings, the whole works... only to be asked the very same question(s) just a few minutes later.

Was that Alzheimer's? I don't know. In the 80s this 'condition' was just vicissitudes of life, so they say.

Part of my plan to record my experiences and share it with the world. In order to remember. Will I be forgetful one day? I am already quite forgetful and hubby reminds me so often of it. He forgets some things too and we would have a 'conversation' about how this causes miscommunication... but I do love him to pieces and do not like to get into the debate of the "you don't remember, do you?" sort.

This blog is also one avenue to capture my memories. Lest I forget.

UPDATE [6 Oct 2020]: I had wanted to post the same exact thing today, but paused for a while and just browsed for older entries. Lo and behold, here it is! Sometimes I get rescued by my instincts. Or is it just me being repetitive (a lecturer's trait)?

Me Meets World

One of my intentions is to start a YouTube channel that introduces teaches law to the masses. Right now some names are being considered but one of the frontrunners is "LazyLaw". It is a play of word, as if someone is saying "(I'm feeling) lazy lorrr", which is a very Malaysian thing. It is also my way of addressing the audience that these videos will not dive deep into legalities, but just enough to understand some terms or legal situations... and allude to the fact that I am too lazy to be more academic or provide too much references. Call me the BUM of academia if you will.

Other possible titles are: Demystifying Law (a mouthful, and there is already a YouTube channel with this name); LawTeacher (but I do respect Asif Tufal's previous work before his website was sold to an essay service site); AboutLaw (because I want to introduce other series e.g. AboutReading, AboutTeaching, AboutLife, but do I want to?)

For one, the videos will not be more than 15 mins long, a la TED talks. Currently thinking of maybe just 5 mins each a la Prof Fried's contract module on edX.

As with my other abandoned projects, I am still thinking too much about it: the "branding", which colours to use; should I have a common intro phrase like "Hi guys", what should I wear, or should I just do cameras off, or should I just do a Sia and other what-have-yous.

This morning incidentally I did a sharing session with some colleagues from another university: basically it was about our experience of online teaching & how we overcame our challenges, and how they can do it too. It went pretty well. Initially when I started there were about 81 participants and when I stopped there were about 192, and the organisers mentioned that 200 participants had tuned in 😱

Thankfully I was blissfully ignorant- when my slides were shared I had thought well 81 is not too bad & was not able to toggle to the participants list (because I was not the organiser). The good news is: many thought the presentation was useful, and a few probably looked me up on researchgate & found that I have never ever done any research on e-learning 😅 

Well I did mention in the beginning that my sharing is experiential and in no way am I an expert. Perhaps I am a practitioner at best, a teacher. I probably cannot even call myself a lecturer, or an academic, for the basic fact that I do not publish papers.

I digress.

The feedback was quite good, and I appreciate completely their the kind words. Perhaps now is the time to be courageous and introduce my material to the world 🙇

A Lofty Dream (a work of fiction)

Lately I have been dreaming of climbing great heights. Literally. Like climbing 5 floors on small staircases that can barely fit one person. I would already be walking almost sideways, trying to fit my behind & reminding myself that I must jog, and another person appears on his way downstairs. You have got to be kidding me!

On the top floor was a bunk bed (this morning's dream) filled with someone's clothes and underwear (not smelly, thankfully!) and the way down the bunkbed is via an iffy stepladder.

Some days I would be climbing a precipitous cliff, hanging on for dear life. I would reach somewhere, but it was no place I had seen before. 

When I was younger I had dreamt a lot about falling.. into the abyss.. I have never actually hit the ground, but then again I usually will wake up & not know (about the fall). The dreams got worse in high school.  Other kids will be worried that they'll be woken up by ghosts or lost souls roaming the hallows of our halls, but I tend to jumpstart with a 'falling' dream. 

As an adult I read that these dreams are an analogy of "failing" and the insecurities related to it. Makes sense. There was a LOT of competition in high school. So many clever kids, many effortless. One girl slept through the whole lecture and at the end managed to solve the complex equation. And a public exam, which will determine our future, loomed in the corner. Way to go- give those kids a scare- no pressure though, it will just affect the rest of your life.

In what ways are we weird

We are all weird and quirky individuals. We were super quirky as children, and were forgiven for a lot of things, because of our young age- we do not know any better.

We were absolutely weird in our teens, with so many unresolved issues against the world.. and it appeared that no one seems to understand us.. that no one used to be teens except us.. that the angst will never end & is unique to our generation.

In our adulthood, we have learnt to hide our weirdness to belong to polite/ proper society.. but many entertain the weirdness in the privacy of our own homes.. and in certain circumstances where we marry an equally unique individual, our solidarity in weirdness intensifies.

Never change. Unless of course your weirdness is criminal, or needs to be addressed with therapy.

May you thrive and flourish in greatness.

With lots of love,

moi

Stubborn

Currently the standing issue with hubby is my stubborn attitude. I just do not listen to him. Well I do have my own opinion sometimes & when I feel strongly about something I do not relent easily. I have done all the giving in with my ex-hubby & look where that got me.

To be or not to be (stubborn), that is the question.

Perhaps I will reconsider, for domestic harmony. Hubby has already gave in a lot, in our relationship, and  I totally and completely appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. We are now in the next level of our relationship.. the tail end of adjustment and the beginning of understanding and maturity

Following My Instructions

Last Tuesday on a whim, I did an impromptu slipshod recording of my own voice for Waze. Since the recording script was basic (i.e. Turn Left/ Right; Next 200/ 400/ 500 metres; Rerouting), I didn't have to read the street names or any specific locations, and this fact has simplified the instructions (and the following of it).

The sound however was grainy so I would have to re-record the audio. My 2 little ones said the audio was spooky sounding. So I had changed the voice back to Yasmin's voice. She is a Malaysian actor in the 80s- most well-known for her role in Opah, as a Mat-Salleh wife of one of Opah's sons. She is also the voice that you hear announcing the locations of LRT stations. Now she voices my Waze directions.

In short, simplifying things (especially directions) is absolutely great for me. I do not get lost when the instructions is direct & does not involve too much details. THAT is a lesson that I take and must apply when teaching my students!

Old Country (a work of fiction)

When I was a lot younger, I was sent to live with my Grandmama in the country. The journey took one day and one night, and we reached her doorstep it was nearly morning. She is Mama's mother. 

I do not see her very often, except when Mama was alive. Papa is the only child and his parents passed away when he was in his teens. Mama sometimes joked with me privately that she was lucky to have married Papa- there are no in-laws to deal with. Well not so lucky when Papa was assigned overseas for work, and because he had to move around a lot I had to stay with Grandmama for a while. 

Although it was late when we arrived, Grandmama was up waiting for us. Age has caught up with her, and she was not as agile as before. Grandmama had trouble opening the locks and babbled about having asked the caretaker to change it. Papa was too tired from the drive to make conversation but managed a short "hello mama". When we finally got in Grandmama hugged both of us. "You must be really tired. Rest now, we'll talk tomorrow", taking our hands and led us to the guest room. Anna, you can sleep in Larissa's old room. Papa gave me a quick kiss. "I'll see you tomorrow hon". "Goodnight Papa". [How detailed should I be? Do the characters remember every info?]

Grandmama showed my Mama's room where I was to spend the night. It looked like it had been kept the same way as Mama had left it when she went for Uni. Mama was the youngest of Grandmama's child, from her third marriage. Uncle Otto, Mama's elder step-brother, lives not far from Grandmama. He never married so I have never experienced life with cousins. 

"Look at you- how you've grown!" Grandmama exclaimed, adding with poignancy "You remind me so much of her". She gave me a tight hug and rushed me into the room. "You must be really tired. Rest now. I will see you in the morning". With that Grandmama left. I have always had trouble sleeping in a new place. This room, although it belonged to someone familiar, is oddly unrelatable. I tossed and turned and finally fell asleep.

Woke up to pancakes

Papa was ready to leave. He was apologetic, but we had gone through this at home. That he will be away for a year. School has been arranged and I will go by bus. I will be the new kid; Papa has given suggestions for self-introductions. I missed my boo Alice and wondered how she is doing. I can contact Papa by satellite phone. His research work will bring him to the far reaches of the world and his beloved daughter will have to stay put for a while until she is big enough to follow him on his journey.

What should happen next?

Papa met in an accident? Went missing?

Getting to know Grandmama & Uncle Otto? 

Country gossip- Larissa's old flame/ best friend?

Things that happened in school?

Inequality

Gender roles in Asia

Married women are more likely to be expected to give up their career compared to their husbands, in order to raise a family.

If she works to support part of the household expenses, she works and gets home to cook, clean and care for the children.. and gets up the next day to repeat the process.

For Muslim women, the possibility of the husband marrying another is very real. It could happen, and for some husbands it is a standing joke.. for others it is a friendly 'threat' that if they're not well taken care of they'll find another.. or for any old reason: she cannot have children, she cannot have boys, she has let herself go (and so on) he will marry another. Women should STOP doing this to other women. Because the men don't bother. They just cannot stop themselves sometimes.

Maybe my friends who have chosen to remain single are on to something. It is empowering to be on your own & not be beholden to a man. I tend to want to be married, for the companionship. I like to belong to somebody, and hubby is accepting and patient with me.. but sometimes deep in my heart I feel inadequate.

How la

The number of new covid-19 cases in Malaysia is again on the rise. Malaysians have been asked to be cautious as the fight is far from over. On the ground however, we do not seem as concerned as we should be. Things are almost, if not exactly like normal, pre-pandemic days.

Late night diners are open and filled with patrons, many of whom are carrying children with them. Frankly I do not think that the government will pull the plug on "Restricted Movement Control Order" because our economy needs the injection. Self-regulation also may not work anymore, especially after the MCO has been lifted. People are actually glad to be outside roaming free. Such is our nature, we enjoy being outside eating and meeting with friends.

Skyscraper

Demi Lovato's song went like this:

Go on and try to tear me down

I will be rising from the ground

Like a skyscraper

The most important thing now, my dear, is to not tear YOURSELF down.

Right now I am able to handle/ ignore other people's comments.

Next thing I have to do is to re-programme my inner critique:

to say more positive things

to be more encouraging

to forgive and accept all my past, present and the eventual future

to embrace, accept and acknowledge all my flaws & warts & whatever else, get it?

to continue moving, growing, exploring and being 

I Love My Inner Self 

As the World is Changing

As the world is changing...

I am at home playing Homescapes.. not even a widely known game that many would relate to, but a ho-hum rearranging game..

I am still struggling a little with finances and a bit apprehensive about my cashflow once the moratorium ends this month..

I am delaying/ postponing/ proscrastinating things, which result will make my life better, like spring-cleaning the house (why is my feet so heavy????)

I am lucky to still have my job despite how lazy I have been sometimes..

Sometimes I get affected with FB postings even though I KNOW for a fact that these postings does NOT reflect everyone's happy shiny-looking lives..

I probably have some unresolved issues with social skills, until today! Which implies that perhaps I have some autism spectrum? Or am I just an extreme introvert?

SO WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT IT?

What triggered this blog today was: firstly the death (or rather, the repercussions) of Sushant Singh Rajput. It happened some time ago but the aftermath is unfolding as we speak. The girlfriend's role, Sushant's identity and belonging to the Bollywood echelon, the speculation that he had drugs and mental issues, and the overarching request by his family to be left alone to grieve. Granted Sushant had taken all his secrets to the grave: what he was or was not, his aspirations, his psyche, his wants and needs. My kepohchi mind has a few more spinoff speculations which I would not entertain as they're unproductive.

Secondly it was my former classmate's FB post about him attending ASEAN ministerial meetings since morning. I had wanted to be a diplomatic officer. Compared to him I was smarter. I had obtained much higher grades in Uni. This is evidence that booksmarts is not smart enough. 

I had SO wanted it, but circumstances of married life did not support that sort of wish or dream. And I do blame myself too. Should have fought harder. Should have made better choices. Should have done more, but I was a conflict-avoider.. and a bit too lazy to be superwoman. On Saturday during the Final Year Project workshop, one of the getting-to-know you question was: what was your ambition growing up? I wrote flight attendant. That was my first one that is originally mine. I wanted to be that person that get to travel and see the world while working. Why not? Other were: doctor (this was influenced by 'higher authority'), an English teacher and I had one more which I had forgotten (maybe a far-fethced one like "astronaut" or something, just because the teacher asked us to come up with something original). I ended up doing law in Uni and now I am a law teacher. Okaylah.

Now for some odd reason I am chasing the lofty diplomatic dream again. To work with ASEAN. My credentials do not support it. Well I am a bit far off the well-trodden path of a diplomat. I do not know where to begin, and I suspect neither do the hiring party.. but I do wish in my heart of hearts that they give me one shot. At least a 5 minute interview.. or 10.. pleaseeeeee!

In the meantime I will do whatever it is that I am doing now. The job that I would have done for 17 years (come 1 October 2020)- it is already actually longer than my first married life. So my dearest girl, what inferences can we make: Do you possibly enjoy teaching a little (perhaps)? Should you administer the 'career discernment' test on yourself then (and literally go back to the drawing board)? The pity party should not extend beyond the age of 35.. or 40.. or 45 perhaps? Would I like to move on perhaps?

Event Management

During the Alumni Golf event yesterday, I was requested by hubby to help out & I obliged. The team have put in a lot of effort in organising the event. The level of work and care that was put in, I can only imagine. The participants had fun, they seemed happy & have enjoyed the experience: the game (that is said to be 'the greatest game ever played'), the get-together and dinner + luck draw afterwards.

What did I do? I helped out at the registration table & organised the lucky draw table. Not much, but was glad to help.

And I am frankly now impressed with hubby's network and his ability to bring people together. He was in charge of 'invitations' and by that, he had called most (if not every) contact on his list and then some. Calling is not really the issue, but bringing them to the event is the part that I salute him the most. They paid, they played & they enjoyed themselves genuinely. Not in any beholden or begrudging way, but in a thoroughly enjoyable way. That is his magic. I can only aspire to do that. Such is not my skill. Been there, done that, and flopped.

Hence is the importance of the team strength when organising an event. Any event, big or small. I prefer organising & the detail-oriented parts, and hubby is the bestest in pulling the crowd. There is always something that he is able to say or do, and the communication is always very tailor-made to the person.. and his 'hit' rate is pretty high, I would probably say at least 95% & at times as high as 99 or 100%. The ones who don't come really cannot come e.g. one did not come because he just had a heart procedure. 

Project Management

Yesterday we had a "Project Supervision" workshop: to ensure consistency of supervision across 4 different (business-related) Schools. I came in all gung-ho and with lots of questions (as usual).

Only to be told AT THE VERY BEGINNING, that I should support the supervisees, I am the leader that ensures that the FYP is a success, that I should listen and take leadership, that I should check and schedule appointments (with the supervisees) early on, that I am responsible in following up if the students 'disappear'.. and the sad thing was, at the end of the session it was mentioned that "we should not be too hard on the students, they are trying their best, they do not know research very well (not like 'our' level), and that they have been given a 'cookie-cutter' sample to follow for certain chapters.

For academic decorum I did not say anything. But in my heart I feel that this is a load of BS.

Firstly the supervisor is expected to support, nurture, follow up, plan and once the product is submitted we are expected to be 'lenient'. Our students expect "A"s and "B"s on a cookie cutter model and we accept mediocre work sitting down. This will blow up in our faces very very soon. Or the more unfortunate thing is: supervisors like me who appear to be more 'strict' on good work will be driven out or become unpopular. Because we are making things difficult (or are we? I get confused sometimes).

We are missing the forest for the trees:

FOREST: students need to elevate their FYP standard

TREES: we will support as much as we can, short of doing the work ourselves

I am saying this because I had the misfortune of a mediocre student who did last-minute botched work yet operated in an illusion of grandeur that he ultimately & unequivocally is an A student. Within the context of "student-oriented" supervision, I was deemed the wrong party. Sad but true. We are creating a generation of entitled spoilt brats.

My uneventful life (a work of fiction)