The Weight of Expectations

Being a woman in Asian society may be a challenge at time, depending on the circles you associate yourself with.

I divorced at 40, remarried at 46 and my mother in law hinted at me about grandchildren. I replied to her (most likely wrongly) that I am already entering pre-menopause and may not be able to bear children. Hence when hubby returns from Jakarta I will propose that he marries a young girl to bear that grandchild for his mother. Well technically she never brought it up, but I guess what is in someone's heart and spoken aloud deserves some type of attention, and action, on my husband's part.

You can be highly educated and successful in your job AND you will still be expected to be a good cook and homemaker and take care of washing, cooking and cleaning. Most of us do anyways. Well, if I might say that myself. Not me, I don't mind washing the plates but I'm terrible with all the other stuff. Sometimes I cook, but not because I have to but I WANT TO. Huge difference there, brother! I plan to seek divorce and not do any of these things for him anymore. Let him find a maid or a wife or a maid he can sleep with for this purpose.

Being divorced in itself used to be a HUGE taboo. Would society prefer a woman be continuously battered by the man who was supposed to look after her? Is she expected to sit down and take it when her husband goes gallivanting with other women? Would it be worth sacrificing her happiness to maintain a united family front, complying to society's unrealistic standards (as she looks into the camera, dead in the eyes)? Why does society impose numerous expectations when no one has walked a mile in our shoes?

So ladies, please do not apologise. For being single/ married/ divorced, for choosing not to have children, for not knowing how to cook/ cook well, for not being a Martha Steward disciple, for pursuing our careers. We live by these choices and took responsibility. What's it to them anyways.