Thursday, May 16, 2024

If she had changed

He said she wasn't compatible as a wife, because she is too young: her current age 38 to his 52.
I was the better match, because I can jive with his friends. I was his junior in high school. Of course I can jive with his friends, because I knew them from before! It is still a poor excuse to keep her on the side & help her get through the separation with him. Because they had been together for 10 years. If she was incompatible, why did you NOT bloody cut her off immediately???

However there were messages throughout 2019 (after our marriage) where he had asked her to change, so that they can be together. If she had changed, would he have married her?

Once I had said this to hubby, when we riding in the car, that "dah lama kan kita kenal" (we have known each other a long time, haven't we?). I remembered his response because it was a strange one "saya kenal org lain lama lagi" (I have known other people far longer) but I did not pursue it, thinking that he may be referring to his fiance. BUT NOW LOOKING BACK, this person was bloody Aiza. 

Aiza ended up marrying in 2021, to a gentlemen of her choice. Apparently he became a witness to her marriage & maintains a good relationship with her husband too. I guess hubby is like that, friendly with everybody. I wouldn't be able to look Aiza's husband in the eyes, if I were him.

By this reason alone I won't be able to go back to him. The scenes are too haunting. 

He had said these were private conversations. I was not meant to know these things. BUT I HAVE ASKED ABOUT AIZA MORE THAN ONCE DURING OUR MARRIAGE! Why didn't he come clean? Why didn't he bring me when going out with Aiza. I'm sure my presence will hasten her recovery!?!?!?!?

The weirdest thing was he maintained all of us together in separate boxes. No one knew about the other. Well I did, but he had denied everything. What I can deduce here is: he needs help (mentally). So does Aiza, but I will let her figure this out by herself. I really do not owe that bloody idiot anything. My hope for him is that he gets the help & become a 200% better person than he was with me, so that he can find the best match to marry and love+cherish that person wholeheartedly.

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