Thursday, January 23, 2025

Divorce Papers

I picked up the divorce papers from the lawyer yesterday. The issue date was 23 December 2024, and the lawyer had messaged me to pick it up from their office a week ago. I only mustered the courage yesterday. It was not even for me. A friend had a divorce question to ask & I figured that it's better to ask in person... AND at the same time pick up my papers.

How did I feel? Sad is the word. Beyond sad would be more accurate. 

How did I replace the feeling? By going for tea/ early dinner with my 2 munchkins. They chose what they wanted to eat at this kuih place, and everyone enjoyed the meal. Lovely.

When I returned home, I looked at the papers: once, twice, and went to bed. There are some feelings to be processed there, but I couldn't find the words.

Things didn't work out between us, and we have done our best. I kept going to the night before our nikah, when he messaged his 'love forever'. Our marriage wasn't enough for him to let her (or the lot) go. I was clearly not his first choice, but the convenient one who happened to be there, willing, ready and able. The rest had other constraints. He will realise one day that I was the best thing ever to have appeared in his life, and by that time it will be too damn late. 

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