Men and their Needs

Men, please do not be upset with my recent posts. Many men are decent I believe, and they're hard to find. I had settled for 2 men at different times of my life and we appear not to be good matches. I take responsibility. I chose them. I made them marry me. And they strayed because I didn't take care of them. Other women were able to do the job better. They are more caring, like to be together all the time,  plans a good time with each other, manages the household well (or gives the impression that they do during the dating stage), prioritise the men, manja, sweet, and did I mention caring?

My personal conclusion is that I am just not wife material. I will no longer seek marriage after this, it is just not worth it anymore. I have my children, my job, and soon my phd, and I will have stuff to do instead of focusing on a husband. 

Perhaps another advice to me is: don't rush into it. Seeing that there'll be no more romantic relationships in the future, I will not rush. I will not even move. Like the movie scene where the cafe patron just sits and watches the people, vehicles, and the world go by. I am that person now. A bystander. Don't mind me. I'm good where I am, thank you very much.

Another advice that I need for me: YOU SAW THAT BOTH OF THEM HAD A TYPE AND I AM NOT THEIR TYPE!!! Why on earth did I choose not to see/ acknowledge that? Ex-hubby likes tall chubby girls. Hubby likes petite damsel-in-distress types. HOW did we end up together? Did I choose to see what I want to see? Probably. I was blinded by love, or lust, or something. I really don't know. Or my selection of men is flawed. Or marriage is just not for me, because I don't know how to do it. No matter how much I adapted, I cannot fit the job. It's just something I cannot do well, or even decently. Like modeling, or acting, or cross-stitch, or crochet. Not my thing.